If people have been trying to get a hold of me here is some info

w7raz24@gmail.com 1-208-550-7710

Gotta give you all an update and then off to bed. Tomorrow is our anniversary and Patsy and I have been together 40 years plus the years I knew her before we got married. We met in the 9th grade speech class. Seems like a life time ago. I think I am going to be really lonely tomorrow without her.

My sis called the other day and asked me to go with them to lagoon and drive the RV they had rented. I decided it would be good to get away from the bus that I have been in for a long time taking care of my sweetie. I enjoyed the trip but I did have a struggle. Walking around Lagoon by myself was a little bit tough. I had a back ache and so I took what I thought was two Excedrin. OOOPPPPSSSS !!!!! I put some of Patsys norcos in the excedrin bottle. That help my back pain and guess what, I decided there wasn't one darn ride in the park that I was to old to ride. That led to more excedrin later. One thing that I noticed is that is was easier for me while on the Norco. I can see why people take drugs to ease there pains but not for me. I need to face this head on and I know that Patsy will kick my rear if I do it any other way.

So we got back on wed night and I took the rv back to Nampa for sis. Carey and i went to the funeral home and made arrangements to pay the bill and picked up moms ashes. That went pretty well and I enjoyed visiting with them about the decisions we made. Later in the day I got a phone call from them and they said that the bill had been paid. WHAT!!!!! My sis in Seattle paid the cost and of course that made me cry. My three sisters have really help me a lot. I haven't been the best brother and they are really showing me up.

So Tomorrow i leave to go do the ride idaho event that Patsy and I have do since the beginning. It was a way to celebrate our anniversary and do a vacation. I believe she would want me to go and do the event. I will miss her.

A quick story!!!

It has been a emotional day for me and I just can't get my thoughts together. I have been asked to keep the blog going so I am going to just write a couple of thoughts for tonight and I promise to do more update tomorrow about the trip to lagoon with my sis to my sis in seattle paying for Patsy cremation cost. No wonder my emotions are all screwed up.

I told everyone the good and the bad so here is an experience to share that helps me a bit.

I watched my dear wife from the minute she had the stroke until she passed. The nurse said that the next 48 hours would be the answer. I already new the answer but as usual, I held out hope. Over the next week, we watched as she lay there and we knew it was her time to go. But for those of you who have never gone through this, this is for you.

patsy passed away and Katy was holding her hand and watching her while I sat in the chair and tried to get a few minutes of sleep. Carey was in the bedroom doing the same because we had been up with her all night. Patsy took her last breath and she was gone. We called the funeral home and it was an hour or so before they got there. When they got here, we brought in a sheet and wrapped her body all but her face. In that hour after Patsy had left her body, a change happened to her that was amazing to see. Her body started changing and by the time we were done, we hardly recognized her. And what was left was not the Patsy we all loved but a shell that no longer had a spirit. I hope I have painted the picture correctly.

I am so proud of my daughters. They asked us if we wanted them to carry Patsy out of the rv because they could not get the bed it to her. We said that we wanted to do it.

My three daughters and I picked her up and carried her out and layed her on the bed and I gave her a kiss goodbye.

My girls showed great strength and love and they are very special. Patsy will hug them again someday.

Okay that is all for tonight but please check in tomorrow, The journey continues. RAZ

On the road

Dad asked me to do a little post. He decided to take Aunt Verlyn up on her offer. If you remember from the previous post she needed help to drive a huge motor home down to Ogden. He will be back tomorrow evening we're all hoping the fresh air will do him some good.
Carey

Should I or shouldn't I, that is the question!!!!!!!

Ok, so my sis called me up tonight and asked if I want to drive the RV to lagoon. Say what????

I guess their family is going to lagoon for a couple of days and they are taking two rigs. A trailer and an rv if I understand it correctly. Lowell is going to drive something pulling the trailer and sis was going to drive the rv but she doesn't want to. She asked me if I wanted to go and drive the rv.

I have been trying to deal with patsy leaving me and sitting here alone in the rv has been hard so I thought it sounded like a good idea. I'm not sure how it looks to be going to lagoon just days after the love of my life has left this world.

So, the question I asked myself to make me feel better about the decision is " What would Patsy want me to do". She told me once that I was to be happy and I think she would say to go. We are leaving tomorrow and I will be home on thurs morning. I hope you all understand why I am going and not that I am glad to be free of her so that I can go have fun. people say who cares what they think but I do. Anyway, I may be off here for a day or two but I will give you an update on thur if not before. RAZ

bad day

Really having a bad day. No appetite, no desire to do anything but cry, mad at some certain people, and sad I can't hold Patsys hand. We are going to the movies tonight before Katy goes home tomorrow and I don't even want to do that now but I am going to. I hope the days get better, this isn't much fun.

Are you still with me????

I had some phone calls today from some great friends. It brightened my day a bit. My daughter Katy and I decided we needed to get away from the RV for a bit so we left for the afternoon. We went to Emmett first and saw some friends and relatives that she wanted to see before she goes home. We stopped by and saw Carol and thanked her for the care she helped with for patsy. Then it was off to Boise and we stopped at my dads for a bit. Then on to Nampa and a short visit to Chad and Careys to pick some items up and then home. It was really nice to get away for awhile. Tomorrow night I think we are going to go see a movie together and then Sunday she goes home.

I am not looking forward to being alone.

I have started thinking about things I need to get done so that I can try to stay busy but I know that it is going to get a bunch harder when she leaves.

So, Sept 3rd in Weiser at the park across from the church by the court house. 1:00 until 5:00 or until we get done. I have been contacted by several people and I believe it is going to be a great time. Levi's, or shorts or what ever is comfortable is great.

I want to keep this blog open until after the group gets together so check it and keep tabs of me and I will keep you updated. After we get together at the park, I plan on closing the blog. It was designed for people to follow Patsy and that will be not needed any longer.

However, There is still a journey of mine to deal with. I don't know what is in store for me but I am going to start updating on my blog.

Hey, I know that i am not the special person that patsy was but if you are interested in following a bit longer, meet me at my blog as soon as the get together in the park is over. There is a link on this blog site to mine and I will start an update there.

One final note. We are looking for some one that has the equipment to help us put the cassette on the computer so that we can burn some cds or maybe someone that can do the whole thing. Walmart has a cassette recorder for about $100.00 and If no one has a better, we will by that.

ok, we are going to try to sleep. See you tomorrow, RAZ