I miss my gal

I really miss my girl!!!!! Oh, Patsy is still here but I sure miss the gal that I have had by my side by so many years. 40 years in about a month and Patsy has always been there to talk to, camp with, work and play with, and most of all, just a companion to share my life with. I am not complaining but just wishing things were better.

We went camping over the weekend and she had a really good day and then she had a not so good day. All in all, it was a lot of fun and I believe that it is something that she really enjoys. We had Chad and Carey with us and the kids. It was great fun.

Since we have been home, Patsy has had a couple of great days. I went over to Carols on Tues and she worked on Patsy through me and I can't explain it but, She is doing okay.

While I was gone, someone brought over a loaf of cinnamon bread and it was delicious. I think it was Val and if that is right, thanks Val. And if I am wrong, thanks to whoever it was. Lucille always brings me bread and cookies but Thereasa said it was someone else. Patsy has so many good friends and i get to eat all the food that they bring her HEHE I think they all feel sorry for me because they know that I can't cook. Patsy is waiting for dinner so I guess that i will wrap it up for now. Thanks for being there, RAZ

We are going to try the camping trip again!!!

Looks like it is going to be another beautiful day. Patsy is doing pretty good. She has been sleeping a little more then I like to see her but the heat might be a factor. We haven't weighed her for a couple of weeks but I am confident that she is doing ok. My back says she is. I went over to help Chad and Carey with a little concrete project and took her with me. She got to see the grandkids and hold the baby.

If she doesn't have a set back between now and thursday, we are going to Stanley for the weekend to do a Ham radio activity called Field Day. We will be with Chad and Carey and several other good friends. I think it will be a good time. Getting there and back is the biggest problem. I am sure that I will have to stop somewhere along the way and do a pit stop with Patsy. That is kinda hard. In my truck, I have a console between the seats and I am hoping that I can roll her on her side on the console and change her and then roll her back. I have not tried it yet so it might be interesting. Carey and I changed her in her wheel chair the last time we went camping. I lifted her up and she did the changing. But, Carey will not be along for the ride until later.

I have been working on running new power source to the RV so that I will have enough power to run the air conditioning with out the generator. I forgot how back breaking digging a trench by hand is in order to put the line in. I got it done yesterday and the wire pulled through the conduit. Now I just need to hook the wire to the panel box and a little bit of wiring to the RV and I should be ready to go. I have to get it done or it will be to hot for Patsy in the RV. Lots to do so I better get with it. RAZ

Cry me a River!!!!!

I don't even know why I am writing this but here goes____ I need to find a stop crying pill!!!!!

I think I have always been a little on the tender feeling side of life but this is getting ridiculous.

Patsy has a set back I CRY

Patsy gets a little better I CRY

I see a performance of a special musical number I CRY

My daughter makes me a little birthday cake Yup I CRY

Today, a very special friend called and said he helped with the Bank Account again I CRY

I burnt a piece of toast this morning I CRY

Anthony Weiner resigned from the House of Representatives I Jumped for joy HeHeHE

I am not sure why but I think I need to go kick someones fanny or yell at someone to try to get it out of my system. In one way, I wished everyone could experience just a little of what I have this last year so that everyone would know how special life is and the people around us are.

Just some thoughts, RAZ

I told you she was beautiful!!!!

Bad, good, lousy. Who the heck knows!!!!!

It has been a terrible week and then a good week and then a terrible day. Here is the story.

Monday was my birthday and a pretty good day until bout 8:30 at night when patsy decided she was going to have a seizure. I spent 20 minutes trying to bring her back but she just looked at the wall like I wasn't even in the room. Concerned that she might do as she did last time and have a big body spasm, I gave her one of the pills. Kari came over and we put Patsy to bed. She did pretty good after that but I was up most of the night to make sure that she held on. Tuesday was a pretty much a sleep day because of the drugs and she indicted some pain so I gave her some Norcos to help her out. Wed was a better day and I had a meeting in Boise so I use a gas card the Don gave me and put gas in the car and went to Boise. I decided to cancel the camping trip for this weekend because I wasn't sure if Patsy was back. Today started out great. Patsy is doing much better and I believe she is 95% back to where she was. I love her so much that it is hard for me to watch her when she is going through these episodes. But, I love it when she smiles at me and follows that with a good kiss. Then I know that she is back.

The day was really going great until I went to go buy her some groceries. OOOPPPPPPSSSS!!!!

What the heck did I do with her Food Stamp card. I don't know!!! I had to leave the groceries and come home. I have looked everywhere with no luck. So I had to cancel the card and order another. 6 to 10n days. It is going to be a little rough going but we will make it. i will go later and get some milk and I will make some bread. Sometimes I get so frustrated with my self. I wished Patsy was back to help me. Days like this makes me want to start this bus and drive it off a cliff somewhere but Patsy would kick my rear end for giving up.

She is sitting in the chair by me and I wished you could see her. She is so special and anyone that has ever met her knows what I am talking about. She tried to reach up and grab my had a minute ago. That was pretty cool. So, thanks for listening to my feeling sorry for myself and start the truck and let's keep rolling down the highway. RAZ

Crappp!!!!!!!!

I better take a minute and let everyone know what has been happening. Last night after months and months of good things, Patsy decided to have a seizure. It was not a big one and I game her some stuff to hold it in check so that it wouldn't become one. Kari came over and helped me get her to bed and she has been resting every since. The medicine I gave her knocks her for a day or two and I wasn't real surprised when she slept most of the day. She did wake up a couple of times and I felt pretty good about what I was seeing.

She looked like she was in pain today and so we gave her a pain pill. That helped her but it also kept her down. Looking at her tonight I may have to give her another tonight.

Carol says she has a spot on her C7 in her back which I think is where she was having problems before. Not sure what we are going to do about it.

So we keep going and we do what we need to do. My life is sure interesting. I didn't get much sleep last night and I thinkk I was grumpy today.

Chad and Carey are going camping thursday and we were going to go along. Not sure what to do now. If she gets back on track and they don't go to far, we may load up and go. The bed in the camper is as good as the one here is not better so we will see. The journey continues and sometimes I wished I could see the end of the road. We will get there eventually. RAZ

Who is that mystery woman in my bed!!!!!!

I slept with a woman last night. First time since before November of last year. HOLY WHATCHATHINKING!!!!!! I slept with patsy in our bed. She has been sleeping in the front of the RV and for a long time I slept in the recliner here by her bed. Then about a month ago I started sleeping in the bedroom and just getting up every two hours to move Patsy to a different position. Well, yesterday I cleaned the back room and moved Patsy to the bedroom last night. It was okay but I got less sleep then when I got up every two hours to move her. If she snored, I woke up!!!! If she moved, I woke up!!! If she made any kind of noise, I woke up!!!! But, it was still nice to put my arm around her and hold her.

The reason I made the move to the back is because I am trying to get the plumbing all done. It hasn't been to bad because I use the bathroom and shower in the kids house. We have been hauling water to do the dishes etc. But after a year of hauling water, I have decided to get everything hooked up. I have all the plumbing run but I need to hook it to the holding tank and the pump. And guess where that is??? Yup, under the bed where Patsy was sleeping. So, I have moved her. But, I ran out of money until the first so I will do what I can on other things. I need to mount the sink and put in the new counter tops. If the guy I do a little part time work for needs me this next week I might be able to do some sooner.

Patsy seems to be holding on. She is eating really good and drinking better then she was. We use a product called thickit and it makes the water easier for her to swallow with out getting in her lungs. She really seemed to have fun on our little camping trip. The kids are planning to go again on thursday to lost lake. She says she want to go and I have enough fuel to get us there and back. (I think)

So, life goes on and so do we. It appears that tonight is the night that I get to help Patsy go to the bathroom. Kari informed me of that as she was leaving. I'll get her for that!!!!!

Thanks for sharing our journey, RAZ

Well, we did it!!!! We went camping for three days and we really had a good time. The worst part of the trip was trying to blend her food so that I could feed her. I cooked some soup but then had to separate the broth from the chicken and noodles, etc. I then had to smash that with a fork and then added the broth back in so that I could feed it to her. Thanks to Carey I was able to find a battery powered blended that is rechargeable and next time things should be better. Also, it got a little warm on this campground because there is now shade so we won't go there again until next spring. I was able to figure out a way to get her in and out of the camper okay and when the kids showed up, Chad was a big help. If I can find enough gas money, we are going to Lost Lake in two weeks. I wished you could have seen here today when Kari asked her if she had fun. I really think she did and she wants to go again. I will take her.

If something is going to happen to her, I can't think of a better place then in the mountains that she loves so much. But, things seem to be getting better so I am ready to go again. Here are some pics.

We are heading for the hills

Patsy has always liked camping. She could tell many, many stories of times when she shared a campfire with a group of young girls as she took them on camp outs. Patsy loved it when the girls would thank her for taking her on a real pack in trip and taught them how to pack their own food and then cook it over a fire. Even laughed when she got caught running the girls underwear up the flagpole at girls camp as the fearless leader.

Add to those experiences the family trips we all took together and the memories we created. Some good, some bad!!!!!

But most important to me was the time that we have shared around a campfire. Looking up at the stars on a clear night with amazement. I would do anything to have a few of those days again. We almost did not get to go this weekend because of some catch up that I had to do because of the teeth work that I had done. But guess what???? Yep, today a card came in the mail with enough money to put some gas in the truck and tomorrow we are out of here for a couple of days. We are not going far, but we are going. Carey and Chad are coming and they can help me with Patsy. Every time I tell her we are going camping, her face lights up and you can tell that she is looking forward to it.

As I have said before, I don't know how to make things any better for her. I believe that the powers to be will make that decision. I just want to do everything that I can do to make her life the best it can be. I believe that means sitting around a camp fire once in a while so tomorrow we are going to give it a try. I can't tell you the work involved in taking her anywhere, especially camping. But if it gives her just one bit of enjoyment, it will be worth it.

One final note and then off to bed. For a long time now, Patsy's back side has been really a challenge. Because of her weight loss, her tail bone was like there was no meat on it at all and that is why it has been such a chore to keep the bedsores away which we have done with great success. But now, Patsy is getting fat again, LOL. Well, not really fat but she is putting so weight on and her butt is a good start. I have noticed lately that she is looking much better and that should help prevent future problems.

Speaking of butts, it is time I get mine headed for bed. Thanks for listening and riding along on our journey. I know with out a doubt that I am being blessed for taking care of a very special lady, and I know that you are being blessed for taking care of me. Someday I hope to pay it forward as they say. See ya when we get back and I will have some pics to share. RAZ

A Camping we will go!!!!!!!

Help!!!! I am taking Patsy on a camping trip this weekend. Sounds fun right???? Well, here is the plan. I am going to lift her out of bed and put her in the wheelchair. Then I am going to take her out to the truck and lift her into the truck. Then I am going to head for the hills. When I get there, I will unload her out of the truck and into the wheelchair. Now the work begins. HOLLY FASTFOOD RESTRUANT!!!! How do I puree food with out a blender. It is going to be interesting but she really wants to go so, we go. I will give a full report when we get back and maybe take some pics. RAZ