Baby it's cold outside!!!!

What a great day!!!!! After a couple of days where Patsy has been a little quieter, today she started the day by saying "HI BABY" to me. HOLY FROZEN PIPES!!!!! But there is more good news so here we go. Yesterday when I moved Patsy from the bed to the couch, I asked her to try to put a little pressure on her legs. She did. I don't no how much she can support herself and I didn't want to take the chance of her falling so I moved her to the couch. I am afraid of hurting her but I need to get her up when I can. Denise has been here already today and Patsy's sore is completely closed up and looking much better. Denise is going to keep a dressing on it for another week just because the skin is new and tender. Starting next week, Denise is going to come only 2 times a week instead of three times. Her stats were good again today, oxygen levels at 94, heart rate at 80, blood pressure was down a bit and her lungs are clear. While Denise was working on Patsy, Patsy said a few words to her. We didn't hear what she said but Denise was really surprised and impressed. Patsy ate a big breakfast of sausage and eggs and toast and I really think her weight is doing better.

The sofa couch that I have been sleeping on is not very comfortable so a couple of days ago I washed all the sheets and bedding and two nights ago I actually tried to sleep there. It does not work. Last night I was back on the sofa. Maybe when the weather warms back up I can move back to the bedroom but I worry about her getting to cold or having to many covers and being to hot. She cannot just kick the covers off or put another blanket on so I have to feel her body temp and make the adjustments as needed.

So, it is New Years Eve. We have plans. At midnight tonight, I am going to give my wife a big hug

and we are going to thank our Heavenly Father for our many blessings and then with a kiss, we will start another year together. I hope you will do the same and continue riding along with us. RAZ

One little piggy!!!!!

Patsy has been pretty quiet today. I like it better when she is more with it (for lack of a better phrase). Nothing that I am to concerned about but it is a little different. The nurse was here earlier and she checked out strong. Her bad bedsore is now 95% healed according to her. She is going to continue to put a dressing on it for another weeks or so and then she is going to cut back to twice a week unless needed. Debbie still comes everyday to give her a bath and help take care of her. They are now providing all the diapers and wipes. That helps.

The good news is that the last couple of days, Patsy has been able to move her toes when asked. She has also started moving her legs a bit but not so much when asked like her toes. Her body is firing all over and she really tries to help with the drinking and eating. So, we will see what tomorrow brings. Thanks for riding along. RAZ

Just try to take it from her!!!!!

I really love this gal!!!!!

She's up!!!! I can not remember the last time I had Patsy up except to sit on the potty. Well, today she was moving her head and arms and I asked her if she wanted to sit on the couch for awhile. She indicated that she would so, I got her up. It is actually part of the exercises that I have started for her. I am working on strengthening her trunk muscles including her neck and head. She was up for about an hour and once during that time I asked her if she was ready for the bed and she said no. So I kept her on the couch for a little longer. The nurse came by today and her sore is almost healed. She said she would keep a bandage on for some time though because it is new skin and it will need to toughen a bit. I have a pic and will probably put it on here today. Talking is still a problem but I think it will come back. She is still eating without the syringe and that really helps.

I did go to the movies with my son last evening and Christy came by and fed mom while we went. It was good to get out for a bit but I couldn't wait to get home. Knowing that she was by herself scares me.

So, thanks for the support and keep riding along. RAZ

A DAY LATE!!!!!!

Holy snowflake!!!!! I got my Christmas present a day late. After getting Patsy changed and then feeding her breakfast, I decided to give her a big hug. While holding her I whispered "hi baby" in her ear. To my surprise, she mumbled it back to me. Made my day!!!! Now, before we get to excited, I need to let you know that it doesn't happen all the time. Getting her to respond to me is usually a dead end street. I do however know that she understands most questions. I asked her if it was okay to go to the movies with Chad tonight and she said "I don't know". I haven't figured out that answer yet. A new thing for her is to wave good bye as people leave. She does a pretty good job most of the time. It is fun to watch her. When ever I change her or move her she shakes like she is trying to react but doesn't know how. She is constantly trying to help when I change her. She grabs the diaper and my hand and the blankets and what ever she can.

She seems to still be fighting a little head cold or something. yesterday she sneezed twice and she has a runny nose. But, she is doing okay and she keeps kicking away. Either my back is getting weaker or she is gaining weight because I can sure feel it on occasion.

So as we get ready for a new year, the journey continues and we want you to keep on trucking with us. RAZ

Merry Christmas!!!!!

It is a little weird feeling tonight. It is Christmas Eve and things are really quite. We have had a few people stop in today and brought us a few treats and that was nice. We even had a couple of young girls come by and play some music for Patsy. But it is still a little weird feeling. I guess maybe it is because tomorrow is Christmas and yet it is just another day for us. I am not even sure if she knows it is Christmas. Usually, we would be planning a big dinner or a trip to some ones house but tomorrow will be trying to decide what show to watch on tv.

Patsy is still here!!!! Holy Rudolf berries!!!! The odds makers are losing money on her. I have seen her through the good and the bad but I can tell you that she is not in the shape they all thought she would be in. I still have not got her talking but, she is improving in other ways. Tonight she is fighting just a little stuffy nose and a slight fever. I am on it!!!! We are having pancakes for dinner tonight. Fast and easy.

The nurse came by today and her stats are still really good. I would say that by Monday that her bed sore will completely be closed up. That is a big relief to me because they told me it was a bad one that could lead to big trouble. With all the problem we face, I didn't need new ones. I really think she is gaining weight back and everyone that saw her today said that she looked really great.

So, with a big HO HO HO, lets get in the sleigh and continue the journey. Thanks for being there, RAZ

IT AIN'T OVER UNTIL IT IS OVER

So here is a cute story for todays report.

A lady was in the nursing home here in Weiser and fell and split her head open. The nursing home sent her to the hospital to get her head looked at and to do a Cat scan. After the Cat scan the lady tried to get up so they decided to drug her and keep her sedated. I guess because of the drugs, she was not doing very well. The hospital told her family that she would not be leaving the hospital and so her family summoned family and friends from across the country to come in a hurry before she passed away. Since everyone was hear, they decided to have the funeral and they put her obituary in the paper. The hospital said that since she was not going to make it that there was no since in feeding her so she survived a week on only 2 containers of ice cream and 2 containers of pudding and some sips of water on occasion. Finally, the hospital decided to send her back to the nursing home so that all of her friends and workers could say there final goodbye. They decide to let her die there. The nursing home decided to feed her regardless of the out come. Guess what???? She is back to normal and doing fine. Hospice care discharged her yesterday. If is is okay with you all, I am going to keep Patsy right here. True story!!!!!

Patsy is doing very good I think. The hospice people found out that I would not be able to be paid any money for taking care of Patsy. They tried!!! But with your help and prayers, we are doing alright.Patsy continues to move her arms and tries to move her legs. When I try to give her a drink, she tries to reach up and grab a hold of the water bottle. She can not of course because she has little control of the muscles but she sure tries.

The physical therapist came by today and said that the exercises that I have been doing with Patsy were right on and then her gave me a few other things to do with her. I think it was a big help. I am not sure that he was convinced that Patsy was on her way back but regardless, he is helping us with our plans.

Patsy still can not say HI BABY to me yet but she smiles when I say it to her as if she knows I want her to and it is a game. She is able to hold her arm around me with a little help and I still good kisses. I don't know of anything that would make me happier then taking care of her and having you ride along with us on our journey.

I caught with only a half smile> Sorry

Here is a quick note. Chad and Carey came over today to bring us a few Christmas presents and some candy. I think Patsy had the best morning that she has had in a long time. Carey gave her a present and she held it and tried to open it. When Chad walked in with his Santa hat on, Patsy smiled a big smile. Carsyn read her a story he wrote and she got to hold the baby. I posted a pic but it wasn't her best today. She did a lot better then the pic shows.

Patsys nurse told me that she thought that I should be able to get some assistance for the care I give her. I told her what they told me about a spouse not being able to receive money but they are working on it. I am not going to get my hopes up but that would be a great Christmas present.

Patsys bedsore is probably 80% healed and doing much better. I am taking over on her range and motion exercises. They are supposed to have some one coming out but I can't wait any longer. She has one ankle and one wrist that need a lot of work. Her left wrist. I am working on it three times a day now and I think I can see some improvement. I just added it to my list of things to do each day and we are getting it done.

Patsy is still not able to talk but she is communicating much better each day. Carey founf that out today I think. The other night I asked her if she was okay and she said no. That was a first in a long time. But I didn't know what was wrong. So, I asked if she had pain. She said yes. But I didn't know where. I started with her stomach and then her back and then her throat and the answer each time was no. I asked her if she had a headache and finally found the problem. I gave her some aspirin and it took care of it. I will be glad when she can talk more but I am glad that she was here so that I could take the time to see what her problem was.

Anyway, things are still good. I used to talk about babysteps but they always went backwards after a while. About 4 weeks now and nothing but slow, positive progress. I hope all is well with everyone out there and please keep riding along with us. Merry Christmas from Patsy and me.

RAZ

I don't know?????

The morning started out great. I try to talk to Patsy as if nothing is wrong and we are just going on. I asked her what she wanted for Christmas today and she looked at me and said "I DON'T KNOW". What????? I loved it. It was the first time in a long, long, time that she said three words at the same time. I gave her a hug and I almost wanted to cry but being the tuff guy that I am, I didn't. The nurse came by and her stats were great. Oxygen levels are at 95 and her pulse rate was 80. That is excellent. It is getting harder to change her because she is resisting and she has a habit of grabbing a hold of us when we are trying to move her. Debbie came by and gave her a bath. I asked her if she wanted a bath today and she said no. We gave her one anyway. We had pizza tonight. I had to cut it small and feed her with a fork but that was still great.

To finish the story tonight I will try not to get to graphic. Patsy doesn't have the strength to poop and she lays in bed all the time. We give her a laxative to help with the process. Welllll. tonight while changing her I realized that it was time to get her on the potty. I made a few calls for some help but it was Friday night and everyone was busy. So, I told Patsy it was her and me this time.

You see, the last time we put her on the potty was about a week ago and I had to hold her and hold her head while Denise (the nurse) help with the other stuff. I wasn't sure how I was going to do it by myself. HOLY CRAP!!!!!

I got Patsy up and she sat there by herself and held her head up by her self. It is amazing the changes that are happening. I was able to get her cleaned and back to bed and she did wonderful.

So, as you can see, we had another pretty good day. Carey came by and watched her for awhile and she could not believe the difference from the last time she saw her. This is truly a wonderful time of year and I have been blessed with so much this year. Do me a favor. Some time this busy holiday season, Take your special person to a movie or for an ice cream cone or something, and tell them how much you love them. You never know how much time you have to do that and I am sure glad that I still can. Thanks for riding along, RAZ

I need a bigger bus!!!!!

I want to go see the new movie that is coming out that is a remake of True Grit. The problem is, I would not enjoy it unless Patsy gets to go. I have a really hard time leaving her and asking others to take care of her. I hate to ask others to change her and feed her. But more important to me is just to be here for her. Remember, she can't push a button or cry out for help. She can't talk to people and tell them that she is hot or cold or hungry or in pain. I know her enough to tell when she needs something. There will be plenty off times for movies someday.

Patsy had a busy day today. I made her some breakfast and she got to eat before everyone started showing up. The first person to show was some weird lady who does reflexology. I was not impressed when she came in but I figured maybe pat would like it. She didn't!!!!!! I am not sure if it was the lady or what she was doing put Patsy was clearly not enjoying what she was doing. I asked Patsy if she wanted her to continue and she told me NO!!!! (she moved her head) So, out she went.

Then Legacy had a new social worker that needed to stop by and do an update. I was not looking forward to that because you know how I feel about social workers. But she was great and i think Patsy enjoyed her being here. We discussed a need to get Patsy some work on her muscles and I think she may have that ball rolling. She was really good looking and nice ( I gave her the blog site). While she was still here, Debbie showed up to give Patsy a bath. Patsy told her she didn't want a bath today. So, no bath. And then, as if we didn't have enough people in the bus, Lucille show up with a Christmas card and a treat for Patsy. (oooopppppssss, i forgot to save her some)

She got a great smile from Pat and it was a shame that she could not stay a bit longer because Patsy was sure glad to see her I think.

One of the treatments that we had Carol had Patsy on was causing her temp problems. When I went to Carol the other day, she tested Pat through me and we found the problem. Carol had me pull the treatment for a few days and the fever problem cleared up. I will go back to her tomorrow and have her re-dose Patsy to see where we are going next. She is still taking all of the meds from Denver and it sure seems to be helping.

So, Patsy lays here in her bed, watches tv, tries to talk a bit, and i take care of her. I would not have it any other way. I want so badly to see her stand and walk and talk. Sometimes I wonder if and when but, I will be here for her through the good and the bad and so will you if you keep riding along. Merry Christmas RAZ

A glass of milk and an Oreo cookie!!!!

That's right, Patsy had an Oreo cookie and some chocolate milk for dessert tonight. That came after a dinner that she ate from a spoon!!! HOLY MOLY!!!!! I almost forgot to tell you about what else Patsy is doing that is new for her. I asked her a question today and she shrugged her shoulders. WHAT???? I started laughing and she smile.

Do you remember when I used to talk about babysteps??? Well, that seems to be where we are at now. Everyday there is a little improvement. I just wished she could talk. She understands what I am saying and tries to answer but it isn't working. I will settle for the fact that she is eating better and moving her arms a bit and her head.

We have a little problem with some fever that she has had but I made a quick trip to carols today and I think we have that under control now. We will see how it goes tomorrow.

My Sis in Seattle sent a card today and guess what, it had a present inside. Patsys Sis sent one as well and her Brother sent one last week. Thanks to everyone that is making this a great Christmas. I sent the money to pay for Patsy meds and this will really help.

I need to go get Patsy changed and to bed and I have some chores that I didn't get done because I went to Emmett. Thanks for riding along with us on our journey. RAZ

There is a tree for every seat!!!!

She isn't feeling very good today but this tree put a smile on her face. She is able to watch the lights from her bed here in the living room. I put the tree in the drivers seat, I won't be using it for awhile. I hope patsy feels better tomorrow. She did eat with out a syringe again today. That helps me alot. I was able to get a few things done today, y back did feel better. RAZ

Maple bars!!!!!!!!

A maple bar for breakfast????? ok, so I didn't want to cook today. A couple of days ago I lifted Patsy out of bed and I slipped a bit and my back is paying the price. It is hard to lift 120 pounds of dead weight and turn to put her on the potty chair. I didn't want to move today and I won't allow myself to take any pain pills while Patsy needs tending to. I am always afraid that it will put me to sleep and then Patsy will need something. She cannot talk and that worries me so I want to be able to check on her.

So we had a maple bar and some milk for breakfast. Then for lunch, a can of progresso soup and I fed that to her with a spoon. We both layed around and did nothing today but watch tv.

Marty went up and cut a Christmas tree and tomorrow I am going to set it up and decorate it. It is about 3 1/2 ft tall and I am going to set it up in the drivers seat area.

I was able to get a pretty nice hug today and that was great. She is able to put the one arm around me with a little help and then she gives me a little pat on the shoulders.

So, as soon as I figure out what we are going to eat for dinner, I will get that done and another day will have come and gone. Life is good. RAZ

Move those arms, baby!!!!!

I have been sitting here trying to think of what to say to everyone tonight. My heart is full but my thoughts are running around like a crazy ant hill. But, I know you came here to see how Patsy is doing so here we go.

Lets start with last night. Patsy had a low level fever so I gave her some Tylenol and put her to bed. I checked on her about 1:00 and again at 2:oo. Her fever had broken and she was a little sweaty but feeling fine. I woke up at 5:00 and check on her and she was awake. I asked again how she was doing and she tried talking and was able to get a few words out. I changed her and she was watching tv so I went back to bed for awhile. 7:00 came to soon but I got up and asked her is she wanted some breakfast. She said NNOOOO!!!!!! ( she never likes to eat that early, hehe). But when I asked her about 9:00, she nodded her head yes and I asked her if she would eat some pancakes and again, nodded her head yes. I cooked a big plate of pancakes and she eat at least 2.

Debbie and Denise both showed up at the same time and they got to work bathing her and checking her out. Her oxygen was 96 and her pulse was 79. Her lungs were good and her blood pressure was good for her. Denise worked on her bed sore and then Debbie gave her a bath.

I REALLY WISH YOU ALL COULD HAVE BEEN HERE AND WATCHED AS SHE MOVED HER ARMS AND GRABBED THEM AS THEY TRIED TO TURN HER. Denise comes M, W, F and she told me today that she has seen improvement each time she comes.

This is going to be the best Christmas ever.

Before I close, I want to again thank everyone for your support and prayers. Some of you have been sending a little money and there has been money showing up in the bank account. I can't find the words to tell you how much we appreciate your help. Knowing that I can focus on Patsy and not have to go find work means alot. I promised I would be here for her no matter the outcome and you all have helped me keep that promise and some day, Patsy will thank you.

I remember when we would pick a family each year and take the kids around and leave presents or goodies at their doors and the wonderful feelings we got. I can only imagine the blessings coming your way. Thanks again, and keep riding along, RAZ

I went to the party!!

I was looking forward to getting out of the house last night for the first time in a long time. I get out long enough to do a little grocery shopping or a load of laundry but last night I was going to be gone for about 5 hours of fun. It was a great feeling but it didn't last long. Before I even got to the freeway, I was already wishing I was home. But I hung in there and went and had a really good time. Patsy and I have some really good friends in the Ham Radio community and it was great to see them.

I asked Patsy before I left if it was okay if I went and she said yes. I asked her if she wanted to go and she said no but a little tear formed in her eye. I know that she really misses the group.

So, how is our girl?????

HOLY TALKARONI!!!! Patsy is on her way back. Thereasa checked on Patsy while I was gone last night and she told me that mom did really good. The last time she checked on her, she told Patsy that I would be home in about 20 minutes and Patsy said OKAY just like there was nothng wrong with her. Thereasa has seen mom at her worst and I think it really surprised her.

Patsy is really doing better, She is moving her arms more and more and she is now starting to move her legs a bit. Keep in mind she has a very long road to travel before she is back but she is still improving daily. I still have not got my Christmas Present from her but I got half when she said HI!!!

I think she is putting some weight back on and that makes us happy. Debbie ( the gal that bathes mom) says she cannot believe the difference and she has only been here about three weeks.

So keep up the prayers and good thoughts and continue riding along, RAZ

HOLY SNOT!!!!

Well shoot!!!! My baby is sick tonight. Looks like it is going to be an all-nighter. She seems to have caught a head cold. I noticed earlier that she had a slight runny nose. Tonight she is running a fever of 101 so it is time to get to work. Bummer, she has been doing so good and now a head cold. I will give a report tomorrow. RAZ

I am still here with her.

Just a quick report tonight. Patsy is doing better. She is even smiling at the kids when they come over. She still has not been able to talk to me much but she did say HI but no HI BABY yet. It is coming. Most of our kids come around when they can and those that don't, well, they are missing out. Patsy has been there for all of us and now it is our turn to be there for her and I can't imagine not wanting to be here. I have been so blessed to share this experience with her and as you all know, I can use a few blessings.

Anyway, the journey continues and the road is a long one. Keep riding along with us, RAZ

No syringe today!!!

The road on this journey has been a little rough from time to time but for now we are back on smooth sailing for awhile. Patsy continues to recover and I could not be happier. I was just feeding Patsy some scrambled eggs and ham and toast and she ate better then she has for quite some time.

I have been feeding her with a syringe because I wanted to make sure that she was getting enough food and because she would not open her mouth far enough to get a spoon or a fork in. But, she has been showing great improvement and so I asked her if she wanted eggs today. She still cannot talk though she tries but she was able to tell me she wanted eggs and ham. HOLY WOW!!!!!!! I was so happy when I put the first bite to her lips and she opened her mouth to eat. Sounds like such a small deal but not to me. Also, while feeding her, she took her hands and put them together and interlocked her fingers. IT WAS GREAT TO SEE!!!!

A short time ago we were all asking the question of how much longer can she last and now it is how much has she improved since the day before. I have even noticed a little more spark in myself knowing that things are looking so much better.

The order for Patsy came yesterday and I sent the check off. I was able to move a few things around and I believe we will be okay. 500.00 is alot but I guess that for the chance it is giving Patsy, it is nothing.

Oh, I forgot to tell you that the range of motion nurse came to see Patsy and everything looks okay except her elbow in her left arm. It needs some work and I guess that I now have some new responsibilities. She could not believe the strength in her arms and I told her that 3 weeks ago she was like a rag doll. So I am going to work on her exercises and when she gets a little stronger then we are going to work an muscle building.

So, again the news is good and I am really looking forward to where the future may be taking us. Keep riding along and thanks for your support, RAZ

HOLY WITCHCRAFT!!!!!!!!

Well followers, here is what is happening today. Nothing but good news!!!!! Patsy had fried eggs and ham and a banana for breakfast and yes, I fed her with a spoon. Not all of the banana and only a little bit of the ham but a definite step in the right direction. Everyday since I started her on the meds from Denver she has showed us a little bit of improvement. You might not see it unless you are with her 24/7 but it is there. The nurse can't even believe the difference.

Her movement in her arms has increased and we think we have seen her move her legs a bit. She is answering more questions and is laughing at some of the things the kids and I say to her. It is going to be a long road back but I think she is on that road.

So here is my problem. I have put a lot of faith in Carol and now the people she is working with in Denver. They say that she doesn't have CJD disease. The meds they have her on seem to be working. But, the amount of medicine they want her to take is unbelievable. I give her 15 drops out of 10 bottles three time a day. The bottles are 2 oz bottles. They list that she should take 4 mega bottles of each item and there are 8 2 oz bottles to a mega bottle. The mega bottles are 50.00 a piece and I ordered 10 yesterday. I want to see what happens before I order the next round. According to the amount that they are suggesting, it will cost me about $2000.00 just for the first series. There are two more series.

Thanks to the people that have been helping lately and with the help from Patsy SSI money, I have enough money to pay for the first round. I need to go see Carol this week and she will dose Patsy through me and decide how much we can increase the amount she in taking daily.

I know, some of you are saying HOLY WITCHCRAFT!!!! And I sometimes have asked myself the same thing but, she is getting better and the Doctors all say she shouldn't be. The nurse says it is working or at least something is.

So, everytime she give me a kiss or tries to talk, it make me feel like I should continue to believe and so I will.

I just told her the bath lady would be here soon and asked her if she wanted a bath today. HEHEHE The answer was a definite NO!!!!

Thanks again for riding along with us on our journey, RAZ

All I want for Christmas

Do you want to know what I want for Christmas?????? Only one thing. I miss Patsy saying HI BABY when I say it to her. It was something that we used to do and it has been a long time since she has been able to say it back to me. She is starting to try to talk more and more and I believe that it is just a matter of time. It will be the greatest present anybody could give me.

Wait!!!! HOLY CRAP. I almost forgot to tell you the news for the day. Guess who ate a half of a waffle today with the fork and not the syringe????? I told you that she was doing better. Patsy shared a waffle and had some milk out of a glass today and that was wonderful. She also laughed out loud at me when I was teasing her about a little present she left me in her diaper. Did I say Holy crap???? Anyway, things are better, Christy is coming to give us a haircut today, there is new snow on the ground, the sun is poking through, and my love is eating with a fork. I think Christmas is already here. Thanks for riding on the journey with us, RAZ

And the answer is yes!!!!!!!

What does it take to make a grown man cry? Well, there must be something wrong with me because when Patsy answered a question with a simple "YES", I teared up a little. It has been a long time since she has been able to talk and now she is trying to answer every question and today she finally was able to. Holy Shocker!!!!!

We have had steady improvement since starting her on the meds from Denver. I am ordering another order Monday so that I have it before this stuff runs out. One noticeable change is that when I check her at night, she is always awake. I don't know if that is a good thing or bad but it has started since putting her on the meds from Denver. She used to fall asleep at around 11:00 and was hard to wake in the morning and then sleep all day. She still sleeps some during the day but things are certainly better.

The nurse is now coming 3 times a week instead of everyday. The bandage she was putting on Patsy would not stay on for more than a few hours show now she does a skin prep and sprays on a glue that keeps the bandage in place until she is ready to change it. Yesterday she told me that the sore was definitely on the mend. Her stats yesterday were great. Her heart rate was down to 71 and the oxygen levels stayed at 95.

I suppose that i am just a little optimistic but I would sure do like seeing her going in the right direction.

Keep up the prayers and thoughts and keep riding a long RAZ

Gobble Gobble !!!!!

Well, tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I took a minute today to reflect onwhat I am thankful for and I had a list a mile long. First and most important is that I get to spend another thanksgiving with the love of my life. Some said she wouldn't be here this year and I am sure glad that she is.

I am also very thankful for the wonderful family and friends that have helped us so much both in money and in support. I will never be able to repay that love but I will always remember it. I hope that you will recognize the blessings as they come your way.

Some of the little things I am thankful for-----patsy's oxygen level was 95 today and she hasn't been on oxygen for 3 days. Her heart rate was 75. HOLLY HEART RATE. That is down from a high of 129. Her lungs are now clear, and the infection that all most caused me to put her in the hospital is gone. The sore on her back side is starting to heal and she is doing much better. Some movement has returned to her arms and she is now moving her head alot more then she has for months. Patsy is still eating what I give her but still eating from a syringe. She still cannot talk but is starting to communicate more and more. Hard to explain but it is true.

The medicine that Carol and David (www.healerswhoshare) have Patsy on is working and things are reversing.

Lets hope they continue.

So you see, with good family and good friends and a great gal here that lets me take care of her, I have a lot to be thankful for and I count my blessings everday. Thanks for riding along with us RAZ

A new bed.

So I took a pic of Patsy's bed sore and I contemplated putting it on the blog. If it is here when you come to the blog, then I must have done so. If I do, it isn't meant to be anything other then a way to show people the road we are traveling. I am the one who made the mistake of not keeping her moving around and believe me, I feel terrible every time I see the sore. We are now focused 100 percent on getting the sore healed up.

The nurse stopped by today and more good news on her stats. Oxygen---95, heart rate---95, and her lungs are sounding great Patsy was given a bed bath today and she looks wonderful.

But the best news is that the nurse ordered a hospital bed and an air mattress and they were here by 1:00. The air mattress has three air chambers and the pump has air going 24/7. The chambers take turns being inflated and change every ten minutes. It is working great and it takes all the pressure off and continue to move it around. Maybe I will add a pic of the bed as well.

Anyway, I moved a few things around and was able to set the bed up here in the living room. It is great because I can be in the room with her day and night. That makes it better for me and her.

Not much more to add tonight. WAIT!!!! HOLLY CRAP!! I almost forgot to tell you that I fed Patsy some eggs and a yogurt today by using a spoon instead of the syringe. It was great to see her eating that way..

Okay, thanks for riding along with us, RAZ

Dang it!!!!!

YOU JUST GET ONE PROBLEM UNDER CONTROL AND ANOTHER ONE POPS UP!!!!!!

Some days it just seems like I should just go to bed and stay there. I would throw my hands in the air and quit but Patsy won't let me.

So here is the good news first!!! The nurse stopped by today and Patsy's stats are much, much better. Oxygen levels were 95 and she hasn't been on oxygen since last night for about two hours. Her blood pressure was way down from where it has been. Her pulse rate was 110 which is still a little higher then we want but a whole bunch better then it has been. The best news is that Patsy's lungs sound really clear and a week ago I was ready to put her in the hospital.

So what is next????? Carol went to Denver for training and she took a saliva sample with her and the head of the company did some testing on Patsy. He is 100 percent positive that Patsy does not have CJD. Dave and Carol believe that there was some issues that Patsy was having but that all of her problems were set off with toxins from the lye that we used in making the bio-diesel.

Dave has Patsy on a lot of things to clear her up. Is it to late??? He says not. Carol has been working on Pat and I would like to think that they have a handle on it. She is showing some signs of improvement already. just little things but they mean a lot to me. I gave her a yogurt today and a few bites of a waffle without the syringe. It would be great if she could eat meals again.

So, now for the bad!!!

Patsy has a bed sore on her tailbone that has become pretty serious. I have had her on her back to much because of the lung problem. That has created a problem. Now we are going to keep her on her side and get to work on clearing it up. Not going to be easy. The hospice people are bringing an air bed out tomorrow and that will help. I guess that it helps keep the body from being in one position to long.

Finally, the discussion of a feeding tube has popped up and the pros and cons are being weighed. I hope Patsy continues to improve so that a decision does not have to be made.

Thanks again for staying with us, RAZ

Will She bounce back?????

I'm back and so is Patsy!!! Back from where????? Okay, okay, here is the story. As you know, I got rid of the first hospice group that was here and it was the best decision I have made so far. The new hospice people are on board and they are great. Here is an example!!!!

I told you Patsy was very sick. Yesterday I called the nurse and Christy and ask them to come quick. Patsy was really bad and I needed to discuss with them what options we might have. I don't involve the rest of the family at this point because other then Thereasa and Katy and Carey, nobody else has been that involved with her care. Her stats were very low. Oxygen levels were 88 and they should be over 90. Her pulse was 129 and that should be under 100. Her lungs were full of crap and making her work way to hard. Her temp for the last week has been bouncing around 100 t0 103 and not coming down even with pills. She was a mess and the nurse said she was very sick. I asked the question. Do we need to put Patsy in the hospital. That was tough for me but I wanted to do what is best for Patsy. We discussed what we could accomplish if we put her there and it appears that the main thing would be an I. V. I thought for sure that the nurse would recommend the hospital but instead, she said that she could do an I.V. here if the doctor would approve it and that the care we are giving Patsy could not be matched in the Weiser hospital. Blew me away and I know the answer would not have been the same with the other provider.

So a call was made to the Doctor and he said that he would approve the I.V. but, he thought the antibiotic that we were giving her was just as good and said that we just need to stay with it one more day. So within an hour, we had an oxygen machine and tons of everything that we could need to help Patsy. They delivered it and we went to work. Everything from gloves to pads to diapers to body lotion.

Patsy says NOT YET!!!!

Today her lungs are almost clear, her oxygen level was 92 when we check it at 3:00. Her heart rate had dropped to 102. She was responding to us and awake. What a difference. She had a really good night and while I checked on her regularly, I didn't have to do much and was able to sleep a bit. They came and we gave her a bath today. For anybody that thinks Patsy would be happier some place other then her home, You should have been here today. She has told me when she could talk to please not let them put her in a nursing home. When ever someone comes along in those fancy uniforms, she goes into panic mode. That happened today!!!

She woke up to Debbie (her bath lady) and I had to step in and settler down and let her know that I was there and that we were not taking her anywhere. She settled down and we continue with a chuckle on our faces.

It make me feel good when I see her heart rate slow when I am holding her hand. She knows the love I have for her even in this mess she is in.

Carol is back from Denver but I will save that good news for another day soon.

We received a little cash and some gift cards in the mail today. If the people responsible for that are reading this, thank you so much. I need to give Carol $300.00 tomorrow to cover the testing that was done in Colorado. Every little bit helps.

To wrap up, Patsy is still sick but is doing much better tonight. We have her on oxygen sometimes and antibiotics, she has a bad bed sore on her hiny because we have had to have her up to keep her breathing. We now are addressing that. Please know that I love her and will continue to do what ever she needs to give her the best chance that she might have.

Thanks again for riding along, RAZ

Who ordered this and why!!!!!!

I have heard it said that when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. I once believed I was pretty tough but now have been knocked down a step or two.

First let me apologize for not keeping the blog up to date. I have been a mess and by the time I quit at night, well, I haven't been quitting at night. Patsy has had an infection and with that a temp that has been really hard for me to keep in check. She has been gurgling when she breaths. The hospice nurse believes that I may have aspirated her by feeding her with the syringe but i don't think so. Regardless, she had a build up of something in her bronchial tubes and that has now settled in her lunges. We are watching her close to make sure that she doesn't get worse.The nurse suggested that we put her on an antibiotic and I agreed. The high temp is kicking her tail. I have been checking her every 30 minutes and keeping cold cloths on her and Tylenol in her. That gives me about a 20 minute nap before the next round. Maybe that is why I was a grump yesterday. I KICKED THE HOSPICE PEOPLE OUT!!!!!!!

Ok, I will tell you that story. Every since they first started coming around, they have had the wrong attitude as far as I was concerned. They wanted to fill the rv with morphine and other drugs and instead of helping me with the needs I have for taking care of Patsy, It appeared to me that they wanted to dope her up and keep her that way until she dies. Yesterday was the last straw. They came in and checked on Patsy while I took a shower. When I came back to the RV, the nurse told me that Patsy had indicated to her that she was in pain. BULLCRAP!!!!!! There is no one that knows this lady better then I do and I ask her all the time if she needs pain pills and I would know if she did. But the trouble doesn't stop there. I was advised that we should put her on an antibiotic to help with the lung problem. I agreed and she said that she would call the order in. I got a phone call an hour or so later and said that they had a prescription that had been called in and that they would drop it off. They came to the door and told me that the medicine needed to be given to her every two hours and I started right away. I gave her a treatment at 1:00 and again at 3:00. But I noticed right away that I could not wake her up and she was unable to eat lunch.

The nurse call me at 4:00 and told me that the medicine had been called in but they were waiting for the Doctor to release it or something and that I could pick it up.

WHAT!!!!!! Then what the heck (notice I said heck, that is not the words I used yesterday) have I been giving her?????? After describing to her the medication, I found out that it was an anti-anxiety drug. WHAT!!!!!!! WHO ORDERED THAT AND WHY?????I only wish pat could show anxiety.

So, needless to say, I blew up and they received the bad end of two sleepless nights. I have a new provider who will be here at 4:00 today. My daughter Christy helped me by calling them. She informed them that I was not a very happy camper right now and that if they didn't think they could help me and do things the way I wanted, then they shouldn't come.

Did I mention Christy helping me??? I don't think I could have made it this far with out her.

So, the journey continues. Carol is in Denver getting training and they are the ones that gave us the anti CJD vibropathic. I hope to hear from her today or tomorrow. I really appreciate all the prayers and the coupons for Ensures that I have recieved. If anyone sees coupons for depends diapers, please clip them for me. Keeping riding along, RAZ

Pillows

Ok ya'll. You keep asking what can you do to help. Well Since Dad has been sitting Mom up more on the couch and in bed he needs pillows to prop her up. He said they don't need to be new pillows if you have any just sitting around and they don't need to be bed pillows either. Throw pillows for the couch are great. So anyone in the Boise area who wants to help, I'm in Nampa so we can meet up and I can get them to Dad. Thanks for every ones help and support it has meant so much to the whole Family.

More Grand Babies

Hi Everyone!

It's Carey. This isn't a post about Mom but Dad asked me if I would put this picture on here. Chad and I had another Baby. It makes 4 for us. He came Nov 9th and we went out to see Mom the next day. Carsyn is now 7, Corbyn is 3, Cole is almost 2 and now Little Cooper.

Cooper make a total of 20 Grand Kids for Mom and Dad.

Hospice Care????

Okay here is my report for tonight. It has been a hectic day. A good friend has help us get some hospice care and I spent the day with doing paper work and talking with some of the people that will be coming to help. One of the hospice workers turned out to be a friend that we have known for years. There is probably no one that we feel better about helping Patsy then her. She lit up like a Christmas tree when I told her that she was coming by. Now, I am not trying to pat myself on the back but they were surprised at the care that we were giving Patsy. That made me feel pretty good. They are going to come twice a week and do physical therapy on Patsy and another crew will come three times a week and give her a bed bath. The will take an enormous amount of stress away from me. They also will now provide me with the depends diapers that she wears and some medicines and creams that we use.

Patsy was clearly upset because she was afraid of what was going on. It took us some convincing to get her to understand that i am not leaving her or letting them take her away from me. While they were here, I again asked her if she wanted to move to a house or stay in our home (the bus). She convinced them where she wanted to be. Live or die, it will happen here.

Carey and Chad added another grandson to the family and I told Patsy that cooper had finally arrived. I wished I would have had a camera. I gigantic smile when I told her that Carey was coming over in the next day or so.

So Patsy is doing pretty good. I know she is doing better then a week ago. I don't know what next week will bring but she is doing okay for now. Her blood pressure was better, her lungs are doing good, her heart rate was good, her skin color is good, and she is very well hydrated. We are still waiting the results from Colorado, maybe tomorrow. I am positive that I am now getting enough food in her again. And the best part is that she seems more coherent lately. Like she understands more about what is going on. She still has little movement and is still being fed through a syringe. But she is eating a bunch and that is good.

So life continues and so do we. I used to pray for Patsy and still do but i also pray that I will not get sick or hurt so that I can continue to to be there for her. Thanks for riding along, RAZ

another day

Another day has come and gone. Things didn't change much today. She has been resting quite a bit and sometimes it is like she is awake but her eyes are closed. I will give her a drink and she drinks it down as if she was awake. She ate a bunch today and that was good.

I gave her a bath and washed her hair. Some girls came by and played there violins for her and she smiled. It has been a rough day for me. It is amazing how much time and work it takes to take care of Patsy. It seems like I just get done changing her and then it is time to make her something to eat, That always takes some doing. One reason is I am not a darn cook!!!! And then I have to fix the food so that I can get it down her. We are doing better now.

I love to hold her hand and she doesn't like to let go so I just sit with her sometimes for awhile.

Carol sent the samples to the guy in Colorado. He is the one that we got the fix for CJD disease from. He will look at it tomorrow and we will get his opinion. I really don't know what to do and sometimes it would sure be easy to say the best place for her would be somewhere besides here. But, I know that she would not get the care that I can still give her so for now she stays with me and I continue the journey. Thanks for riding along, RAZ

well pea!!!

Now don't be mad at me. I will tell you that story in a minute, but first let me tell you how much I enjoyed having Katy and Shailey here for a couple of weeks. I was able to make a little bit of money and Katy took care of mom and me while she was here. In fact, she has only been gone a couple of days and I am going nuts. Patsy smiled a lot at our granddaughter and that was great.

We started Patsy on the CJD medicine. Today she is up watching the game with me and I have seen her move her toes and hands a bit. I might just be grasping at straws but I want to remain positive.

So, don't be mad at me. Patsy has lost more weight. We tried everything we could and still she will not eat. Or should I say she will not open her mouth to eat. Well, we out smarted her. I now feed her with a syringe. It is working really well. It is a lot of work but I don't mind.I did have a problem once. I got a pea stuck in the end of the syringe. I was pushing to get the pea out and oh oh!!!

HOLY PEA ON THE CEILING!!!!! I do try hard.

So I went to the nursing home to get the syringes from Christy and I have decided to work even harder to keep my promise to her. The question I ask myself now is, if she doesn't get better, can I watch her until the end???? I hope so but lets hope see gets better.

Thanks again for riding along, RAZ

It's here

Is it possible to be really happy and sad at the same time??? Ok, here is the good and the bad. Lets do the bad first.

Patsy is not doing well and if things don't change soon, then I think her time with us is shorter than longer. It is a battle to get her to eat and she is sleeping more and more. She is done talking for the most part. Her arms and legs are about done.

So, how do I find any good. Well, I can!!!! We checked oxygen levels with a machine that Christy borrowed from work. They are good. Her heart beat is a little fast but that is not out of the norm for her. She still knows who we are and most of the time will even give us a response to our questions. Her body functions are still working and the diaper count continues.

I called Carol the other day to give her an update. And she decided to call Colorado and she if she could get another opinion. She told the people down there that she was working on a lady that was diagnosed with CJD disease. Guess what they said!!!!! THEY HAVE THE CURE FOR CJD DISEASE !!!!!!!! WHAT??????

Carol ordered it and I told her to have them overnight it to us. We got it today and I went over and got it the minute it came in. I started her on it tonight. Is it to late???? I don't know!!!!!!!

You know how much I like hugs!!!!!!!!

Good morning all you journey takers!! I have a minute before I need to go to work so here is an update. The girls had mom all day yesterday and they did a great job. Katy and Thereasa gave mom a bath and shampooed her hair. Then they change the sheets and washed the bedding. Christy came by last night and help mom with a dressing that needed to be applied and helped with some other issues I won't discuss. She is able to move Patsy to the potty chair better then we are. It really helps mom to keep her clean.

The meds that carol has mom on may be working. Last night when I got home, I went in to give Patsy her hug and kisses and I positioned her arm so that she could give me a hug. HOLLY MAKE MY HEART SWELL!!!!!! She actually was able to give me a hug. I wished you knew how that makes me feel.

She still has a hard time eating. I am not sure why she won't open her mouth but sometimes she can really make us mad. She seems to do a bit better when I feed her and that really gets the girls going. She had a bed sore on her behind and we have decided that it may be caused by the type of diaper she is wearing. My sis got me in touch with a place that sends us diapers and excepts medicaid but the diapers are not the best and the cut is different then the Depends that we can buy. Last night I went and bought some Depends and today she looks much better.

Let me tell you where we are on money. The food stamps have been cut back because they are now counting that whopping 671.00 that Patsy gets for S.S.I. That will hurt a bit. Also, I am buying some protein supplement to help Patsy because she has not been eating as much. Ensures helps and that can be bought with food stamps but it uses all the food money so we are buying a different protein supplement. I have some money coming from work and if I am careful, that should buy us heat and things for the winter. I was in need of some gas money and was just about to call the family when I looked at the bank account today and a deposit was made. I am glad that you can't see the tears. I don't know who to thanks and I wished there was something that I can do to repay whoever has been helping. Please know that you help to make our lives better.

So, I have moved Patsy back to this side of the bed and changed her. She shared a banana with me and it is time that I make her some breakfast. Then I am going to move her to the living room and get her up for the day. She doesn't appear to have any pain, she smiles and says yes or no occasion. And she remains the love of my life. With your prayers and the kids helping me, the journey will continue. Thanks for riding along, RAZ

Holy Backache!!!!!

Well, i think it is past time for an update. But what do I say? Our girl is not doing so good. I have had to make some changes in the way we care of her. First of all, she was starting to develop some bed sores and we caught the early and made the needed changes to get them taking care of. Patsy doesn't move at all and that means we have to move her more to keep things from developing. The latest problem that we have is that she will not open her mouth to eat. She won't even let us help her. She just clenches harder. It makes it harder to keep weight on her. She also developed throat problems and was having a hard time swallowing.

So here is the new plan. No more meals laying down!!! No staying in bed all day!!!

Holly Backache!!!!

It is a little tough moving her to the front of the bus each morning and back to bed at night when she has to be lifted from the bed to the wheel chair and then lifted from the wheel chair the recliner. And of course, she has to be lifted from the recliner to the couch to be changed and then back to the recliner. And then it is back to the bedroom at night so that means back to the wheelchair and then to the bedroom and then lifted back to bed.

But we now feed her all her meals while she is sitting up and I think that is helping. It is also helping with possible bed sores.

She doesn't talk but she still knows what is going on. We get smiles and I still get kisses. She looks better now that we have her up more.

So we now have a new decision to make. The girls are not able to lift her. So now what do I do???

I have two ore weeks that I could work but I have a hard time leaving Patsy. I fill I should be here. The girls said they would try to keep up the routine the best they can. If Patsy makes it,, I could use the money this winter to keep us warm. If she doesn't hold on, I am sure I will have expenses that I will need some money for. So, the rain has stopped and I am sure that they will call me back tomorrow.

I was told that I should put Patsy in the nursing home. Patsy said NO!!! Well she didn't say it but she told us with her face and eyes. She is pain free and not suffering. She also is enjoying the granddaughter that is here. I think we will continue what we are doing and hope for some improvement. Keep her in your prayers and thanks for riding along. RAZ

Katy's Care

Well Dad wanted me to update the blog. Now I'm not one with the words so I have been thinking all day what I could say to let every one know how things are going. We have been keeping track of our days with Mom to make sure she is getting her meds and drinking enough water and every thing else. Well Pops had the idea to post every thing I wrote down today so every one can see just how we spend our days. It might sound a little weird because I was just jotting things down. So here it is word for word.

10/19 9:00 Am

Tried to feed wouldn't eat.

Put 3 Magnesiums and 1 B Complex in Oat meal

Gave 1 B-12 and all 4 Droppers

Little drink of water

9:30 Am

Took temp 101.3

10:00 Am

Temp 101.4

2 Ibuprofen

little drink of water

Tried to feed her again had a few bites of Oat meal/Throwing Oat meal away.

Put cold rag on head

Therease checked diaper little wet didn't change her.

She is sleeping

11:00 Am

Temp 99.6

11:45 Am

Temp 100.1

Ate a lot of tomato soup.

Drank some more water.

water about 1/2 gone

Sleeping again

12:30 Pm

Gave all 4 droppers.

Drank a hole ensure and some more water.

Therease changed her diaper was really wet.

Was laughing and smiling and said yes a few times.

2:30 Pm

Temp 97.9

Ate a lot letfover noodles.

Gave her Dropper #4 3rd time.

Had a hole Ensure and the rest of the water.

3:30 Pm

Christy Came.

Temp 99.5

Changed poopy diaper

Worked her legs.

Gave her 2 Ibuprofen

5:30 Pm

Gave all 4 Droppers she has had all her meds today.

Had a Dr. pepper with dinner.

Had stuffing for dinner.

Therease checked her diaper said she was good.

Has not been out of bed today.

Couldn't get a read on temp she keep bitting it.

8:00 Pm

Dad came home

feed her some more changed her rolled her on the other side of bed

Temp 99.0

As Dad would say keep riding along.

Katy

Is any body home in there?????

My sweetie doesn't fill well. Patsy has a head cold. And what makes matters worse, because of her blood pressure, she can not have most cold relief medicine. So I have some Icy Hot that would clean anybodies sinuses and I have been putting a little under her nose and that really helps. I have been up and down the last few nights trying to keep her fever down.

Today some friends dropped by and that was sure nice to see them. Patsy new who they were even though she didn't say much to them, they made her smile and you could tell that she was in the conversation with us. I made her some dinner tonight and after dinner I got a few words out of her. It is hard to understand how a simple word or two can really make my day, but it does. If patsy gets her brain to tell her body parts what to do, she is going to be back and i have faith that it is going to happen. Thanks for riding along!!!! RAZ

Nothing darn it!!!!!!

I had better take just a minute to tell you what has been happening. NOTHING!!!!!! Well, that may not be exactly correct. patsy has been doing about the same. We went through a couple of days where she wouldn't talk much. That has been a little rough for me because it helps to know how she is doing so that I best know how to take care of her. Even though she doesn't say much, she knows what is happening and she is still sharp as to what she wants to say but can't.

I guess I catch myself thinking that I wished she was better but then I realize that it isn't up to me and that I should be thankful for the times that we continue to share. People have often said that people that take care of special needs people are the most blessed of all. I believe that now.

So, I took Patsy to Carols again to day. We are making progress I believe. Patsy is talking more now, she was standing a little better today, she continues to eat, I think she has stabilized her weight. and she is still alive. The CJD disease symptoms are just not happening to her like they said. Last night I asked her if she wanted to sit in the living room and she said yes. WHAT????

I love it when she wants to get up and do things.

Patsy is a special person and I am not sure why she is being put through these tough days but I have a good idea that she is on her way back. Carol says that she is doing really good and that she is working on the brain and only the brain. Some day I will tell you what she thinks is the original cause of this mess but I want to wait a bit. It is something that she has just found in the last couple of weeks. Most of you will be really skeptic so I choose to wait. But things continue on and I will continue to keep you informed. See you along the road. RAZ

I quit!!!

I had better write something on here before the phone starts ringing. Yesterday was a very bad day. I would have quit if it was a job that I could leave. I tried to feed the little snot and she would not open her mouth. She wouldn't talk to me and she was just in a fog. I was surprised a little because she had a good night the night before. I took her to Carol and she would not use her legs to help me at all. We have it down to a science but it is still a chore to get her to the van.

Anyway, Carol could see that I was upset and asked what was wrong. Patsy wouldn't talk to her either. Carol did her testing and said that Patsy was the best that she had seen her for a long time. I started laughing because if that was her best, then I didn't want to see the bad.

Carol told me that we were working on the brain and to be a little patient. @#$%%^^&&&!!!!!

So I brought her home and threw her in bed. No, not really but I wanted to. I got her to bed and I asked her if she still loved me and she said no!!

But, I did cook her a nice dinner and she did eat it all. I gave her the final meds that Carol has her on and we watched tv until late in the night. Carol did call last night to make sure that I hadn't dropped her off somewhere on my way home.

So I woke today wondering which Patsy I was going to have to deal with today. HOLLY HAPPY DAYS!!!!!!

She is back to being patsy. Laughing, talking, and she says she loves me again. When I changed her today, there was a lot of granule like stuff in her diaper. Carol called to check on us and i told her about it and she says that she is just cleaning out and not to worry. I let Patsy say hi to carol on the phone and Carol had her laughing. Probably talking about me.

Anyway, that is my story and I'm sticking to it. Thanks for riding along, RAZ

Sing us a song Patsy!!

Well, it s 10:30 and I just got done with doing laundry. I fed Patsy a vanilla yogurt and she is watching a little tv before bed. I am almost ready to get there myself. Here is the good and the bad!

Carol says she is now feeding the brain and i believe it is working. She still has not had any pain pills for days now and things are looking better. The Bishop came by to see her today and they asked her if she wanted to be released from her choir calling and she said NO!!!! They decided to leave her in as Choir director. I am not sure why and I was not here when they came by but Thereasa says they had a good talk. Christy was with her today after 2:00 and she and Marty washed her hair. That is funny to me. To see my son Marty doing something like that is hilarious!!! I don't think he found a transmission or spark plug there. HeHe. Christy says Mom was singing along with a song on tv. Holy Singalong!!!! I wished I had been here for that.

Now for the bad. If we don't start doing therapy on her legs and arms, she won't be able to do anything if she does get her brain working again. So, that is what we are doing. I think I have been a little negligent because I guess I thought that if she wasn't going to get better then what was the use. But, I will do better and so will the girls.

Ok enough for now. keep her in your thoughts and prayers and continue to ride along with us on our journey. Raz

Popcorn and a football game!!!!

What a wonderful day. Patsy seems to be doing better and other then telling me that her legs were hurting, she had a good day. I can't remember the last time that she had to take a pain pill. She has taken a couple of aspirin from time to time. None today!! So I made her some dinner and then I got ready for the football game on tv. Just for fun, I asked her if she wanted to go watch the game in the living room with me.

Holy Kickoff. She said yes!!! What??? So I took a picture of her just to prove it to you. She has been up for three and a half hours now and is still doing fine. I just changed the sheets on the bed and came back in here to write on her blog. She is watching tv while I type.

I also shared a bag of popcorn and a soda with her during the game. The down side is that I had to carry her to the living room and put her in the chair. I will use the wheel chair to take her back to the bedroom.

Keep up the prayers and thoughts. But most of all, keep riding a long. I am now reading to her at night the comments from all of you. I think Katy changed the settings so now you can comment. Please do, Patsy will here them all. RAZ

I want to see the kitchen!!!

Thank you Carol!!!! I just had the best day with Patsy that I have had in over a month. Carol gave us some stuff and said now we work on her brain. Wow!! Patsy was as clear while talking today as I have seen her in a long time. And she was saying a lot, not just yes and no answers. It was fun to be with her. I told her that I had just set the kitchen cabinets and she wanted to see them.

HOLY KNOCK ME OFF ME FEET!!!! So I put her in the wheel chair and moved her into the kitchen.

We had pizza tonight because the kitchen was still not ready for me to cook a big meal but almost. Thereasa came by tonight to say goodnight and Patsy said goodnight to her. I am heading for bed so thanks for riding along, RAZ

Kisses are good!!!!

Okay, okay stop yelling at me and I will do a post. Sorry that I have missed a few days, but I have been trying to make a little money so that I have enough for heat and gas and things to help make it through the winter. It as been hard but with the help from the girls, we have been making it. Thereasa, Christy, and Kari Norton have been watching her while I am gone. I have been getting her changed in the morning and I give her what ever meds she is taking. Thereasa then comes in after I leave and gets her some breakfast and what ever else she needs. Christy comes on Mondays and Kari comes on Wedsdays. Thereasa is here on all mornings and on fridays and she checks on here in the evenings until I get home. Thereasa has been cooking most evenings and that has helped. I take care of her at night and get her ready for bed. That has me busy from about 7:00 to 10:00 and then I try to get some rest.

But how is Patsy you say????? I don't really know what to say. Not good is probably a good answer but, she is still here and that is a blessing. She lays in her bed and watches tv (or at least stares at the tv). She has to be fed and changed. We give her a bath in bed and and wash her hair in bed. Carol thinks she has identified what is causing moms paralysis and we are working on it.

So where are we and what is next.

I remember it was this time last year when Patsy was picking me up from driving truck and I noticed that she was having problems with her driving. So, it has been a year. The Doctors say she has CJD disease. If that is true, then I guess time is running out because they say that the disease usually runs its course in about a year or less. They told her that she had about 6months when she was in the hospital. We are entering the 6th month. She has trouble talking yet she listens to everything you say and seems to understand.

Here are a couple of good signs to go with the bad. While she doesn't get out of bed much, Christy and I have been putting her in the chair for an hour when ever we can. She seems to do alright. A week ago I took her to Carol and she could not help me with her legs at all. Yesterday when I got her up to go to the chair, she actually helped with a couple of steps. Not many but a few. She has been laughing at some of the comedy shows and usually she just watches. This morning when she woke up, she rolled over towards me which never happens without help. When we change her, we roll her over to get the diaper on better and usually it is a chore and she says it hurts her. The pain pills aren't needed as often. When I ask her if she knows my name, 90 % of the time she does. Sometimes she will say no and I can see she is teasing.

She always says "hey baby" back to me when I say it to her. And while sex is something I forgot how to do, she still gives me good kisses. And when I tell her that I love her, She always says she loves me to. How many marriages can say that. I tell her that I love her every chance I get. I don't want her to forget. She is eating pretty good most of the time and I believe she has stopped losing weight and maybe is gaining a pound or two.

Is her brain sharp??? NO!! She can't even remember what happened earlier in the day sometimes. The other night a friend of ours came by and when she saw him, she recognized him immediately.

There are some thing I need to ask her but it doesn't do any good. I was so dependent on her for a long time and now she can't help much. But I am still building our dream home, she still wants to be here, our time together is still special, so on we go and you are all still invited to ride along, RAZ

Hello Everyone this is Katy, I was talking with my mother in law and she said that she couldn't post a comment. So I got on and changed the settings. So if you would like to leave a comment and couldn't before give it another try any one should be able to do it now. Sorry I can't give you an update on mom. To tell you the Truth being up here in Alaska I really don't know. Come on Pops you're killing us here.

Katy

Dad called me tonight and asked if I would put a few words on here. He apologizes for lack of posting but as you know he's been driving truck and by the time he gets home and gets Mom tucked in, he is all tuckered out. I don't really have a lot to say because I'm not there to know but the rumors are, that Mom had an excellent day today. Dad said she actually took her arms out of the covers to pet the dog and she hadn't done that for months.
Dad says to please stayed tuned because there is more to come.

There is a squirrel under my bed!!!!!!

Christy was the nurse of the day. Thereasa started out the day with Patsy by cooking her a nice breakfast and patsy ate everything. I stopped by on one of my runs just before Thereasa got back and gave patsy a doughnut and of course a big hug. She was doing much better then she had been doing the last couple of days. I left her with the doughnut and headed back to work. Thereasa came and cooked her some hot cereal.

Christy came on about 12:30 and she got Patsy up and helped her to the chair and fed her lunch. While she was up, Christy changed the sheets on the bed and then helped Patsy to a much needed (MUCH NEEDED) trip to the toilet.

The I got the phone call-----There is a squirrel under the bed. I first thought that it was like the pig and the mouse story, but wait, there really was a squirrel under my bed. HOLY ROCKY (remember the cartoon) How the heck did the rascal get in the bus. I think just through the door. Marty came and got the squirrel out and patsy laughed pretty hard about that.

Tonight she is tired and not doing as well as earlier but still better then yesterday.

Patsy and i have been together a long time. We met and sat by each other in the 9th grade speech class. We have been best friends and partners since we were just out of high school.

But I can honestly say that I have never felt closer or more in love with her then I do today. I am sad that she is going through this but I have been blessed to be able to help Patsy through this challenge and the blessings keep on coming. Whenever things get a little rough or the money gets a little tight, someone out there comes through with a little help. I thank everyone for your support and keep riding along with us on our journey. RAZ

A diaper on my head?????

So, Patsy has been a pill the last couple of days. Thereasa has tried to feed her and she won't open her mouth and Thereasa gets really mad!!! It is a little funny. When I got up today, she was not doing so well. It was a day of not knowing who I am and not talking or moving very much. Carol called and I told her what was going on and she told me to take her off the meds for a day. I did. So a little later and I was trying to get her to smile or laugh or something. What did I do you say?????

Okay, but no pictures. While I was changing her, I took her pull up diaper and opened it up and put it on my head. She laughed and laughed and it was great. Anyway, after a couple of Norcos, she is finally doing better tonight. I was glad I got to spend the day with her. But, unless it rains a bunch, I will be back hauling some onions tomorrow.

A check came in from Connie and Dick and it was just in time. They screwed up Patsys SSI (imagine that) and we were really getting in a pickle but I think we will be alright now. Thanks everyone for the help.

I layed awake last night and and and I wondered, what is next in our lives. Is this what we have to deal with for the rest of our time?? Is Patsy ever going to be able to walk again??? Will she get worse and do I need to be here for the next month??? Anyway, it gave me a headache and I fell asleep. I woke up today and said to myself, it really doesn't matter, we will just deal with it a day at a time and be glad for that day. So keep riding along, RAZ

Have another brownie!!!!!!

She is getting FAT!!!!! Well, maybe not fat, but she has gained 2 pounds since I last weighed her and that makes me very happy. We have worked to make sure that she eats enough to put some weight back on and I am happy to report that she weighed in at 124 tonight.

I also got her up and made her sit in a chair for awhile and that was good for her I think. I have been leaving between 7:30 and 8:00 and not getting back home until about 6:00. So that doesn't give me a good idea how her day went but the girls have been doing a great job. I wish Katy was here to spend some time with her and she might be able to come later this year.

So that is all I am going to report tonight. Thanks for riding along, RAZ

It's 4:00 in the morning!!!!

It is late and I need to get to bed but I want to share some thoughts with you.

Patsy has been unable to walk on her own for a couple of months now and as you know, she has been in a diaper for about the same amount of time. While laying in bed, she has not been able to move her legs a lot and her arms have been getting worse, She has not been able to eat by herself and needs to be fed. But, she still is able to communicate with us and she knows who we are and where she is. She also knows what you are saying to her but she has been unable to do more then yes and no answers. That all change a week or so ago and things are moving in a different direction. At 4:19 this morning. I was awakened by Patsy throwing the covers off and then kicking them off. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I have to go pee".

Now. with out you being here, You might not understand how big a deal that was. First of all, she was kicking the covers. Secondly, she said more then two words in a sentence. And last but not least, she felt the need to go to the bathroom.Most of the time she doesn't know until she is actually doing it in her diaper. I told her that she just needed to go in her diaper and she didn't want to, again good news. It gets better!!!!

The girls said that they fed her and then she asked for more, That never happens. Usually you can't get her to eat enough. Then she took the water bottle out of their hands and drank it by herself. Holy Crap!!!!!

I fed her tonight and she ate a bunch and we talked and she said more then usual. Thereasa said everytime she checked on her today, she was moving her legs and arms and when I called to see how mom was doing, she said great!!!

Carol says she has a handle on things and that news is better then the Docs report. Thereasa asked her if she wanted some orange juice and she said "I don't think we have any." Now she would not have a clue as she has not seen the inside of the fridge for months. But the fact that she was thinking about it was good.

Not being here and not seeing her, it is hard to express why we are so optimistic but we are and I hope you might have a better idea about her condition. We are way ahead of where they said we would be at this time in the game. Keep riding along with us and I will keep you up to date. RAZ

She will walk again!!!!

Christy came over today and gave mom a haircut. She got up and sat in a chair. I think she had another pretty good day. I left her in good hands at noon a went and started driving. I got home at 6:00 and we headed straight for Carols. Some new meds, a positive outlook from her, and we are home. Not a lot of change but we think things are moving in the right direction.

Ok, I am tired and need to get up at 6:00 to get things in order before work. Thanks for riding along, RAZ

What did she say about the trains?????

I won't tell you what she said today about the trains going by. It was a word that My clean cut hands can't even write. hehe But it was good to see some emotion from her.

We woke up about 6:00 and she was talking and crying. Most people would be upset that she was crying but I loved every minute of it. And talk, talk, talk!!!!!

I was changing her and my hands were cold. She was frowning at me and I asked her if she hated me. She looked at me and quoted a sales tool I used to tell her, "Don't ever ask a question that you might receive the answer you don't want". I loved it and where did that come from??? For weeks, yes and no answers were all one could expect. That, with a smile or laugh, made for some good conversation. I got her dressed and we went to carols.

She still needed my help to get to the van but she was walking better then she has for weeks or more. Carol said Patsy is doing fine and she has a good idea that she has a handle on this problem with Patsy. We are going back tomorrow night when I get off work, she has something coming in that she thinks will help Patsy.

Thereasa and I was talking tonight and she couldn't believe what a difference mom was showing today. We don't know what is in store for Patsy but we do believe that without Carols help, Mom would not be with us today. I don't even know what my bill is and she hasn't ask for anything in a while. I try to keep the meds that she orders paid so that it doesn't cost her anything.

So, We live another day and I am thankful for that.

Patsy is looking for a dress, size 8, so that she might go to church one weekend. All of her clothes are size 14 so that won't work.

Anyway, thanks for riding along and keep those prayers coming, RAZ

No real messes today

Is it the cold that has her down a bit???? She has had a temp today of around 100. That isn't real bad but it seems to knock her down a bit. She ate pretty good today and she is moving her legs and arms a bit more then she has but she is tired and isn't talking much. I think she does a little better when the fever breaks. I am going to try to get her to Carols tomorrow and see what she has to say. So, keep her in your prayers please and thanks for riding along, RAZ

A HOT DOG???? AGAIN??????

Sorry about last night but Patsy had me pretty busy. Okay. okay, here is the story.

First of all, Patsy has been sick with some kind of head cold. I don't think that is a good thing when you are in the condition Patsy is in. She had a fever that I spent the good part of the evening addressing. But that wasn't the only thing I had to deal with. You see, Patsy hasn't been real regular with her bowel movements and some of that problem is because she doesn't have control of those muscles. So after not being able to go number two for about a week, I decided to do my thing and help her out. Little did I know that the day that I give her some Milk of Magnesium was the day that she would get sick and be out of it. So, with out getting to graphic, while changing her and getting her ready for bed, I discovered a little present. While cleaning up that little present, I found that there was a bunch more presents waiting for Doctor Raz. CRAP!!!!!!

Because she was so weak from her condition and being a little sick, I knew trying to put her on the toilet would cause big problems as has been the issue in the past (remember what happened at the cabin). After a little digging and then an enema, we got a good start on cleaning her out but she didn't like it much. I knew there was more to come so I let her lay there without a diaper on her pads until 2:00. Then I said it was time for bed so I put the diaper on her and by 3:00, we were a sleep. 6;00 came faster then I wanted it to but she was stirring and it woke me. I asked her if she thought she needed some attention and she said that she thought so!!!!

HOLY WHATAMESSARONI!!!!! Not what I guy that has never done this kinda of thing likes to wake up to a 6:00. I told you, I think I am being punished for something.

Anyway, a clean Patsy and a chance to get a little more sleep. Chad called at 7:00, the dogs wanted out at 7:30, and I just gave up.

I asked my sweetie what she wanted for breakfast and I gave her a choice from 10 items that ranged from waffles to cold cereal. She said she wanted a hot dog??? I waited about 10 minutes before I asked her again to see if she might have a different answer.

"What do you want for breakfast?" "I told you, I want a hot dog." So guess who went to the store and bought some hot dogs.

So, she is feeling better but she isn't done giving me presents. All day long I was dealing with it. Do you think Thereasa would come out and give me a break. Heck no, she hid all day!!!!

Well, I told you the good and the bad so there you go. Thanks again for riding along with us, RAZ

It is my fault

I blew it and I really feel bad about it. So here it is. Patsy has been taking B-12 and a Vibropath called Mi Aura ( I think that is right). She was doing really good. Do you remember me talking about her calling me on the phone and moving her legs and arms. Then, all of a sudden, she started getting worse again and I didn't know why. So, I called Carol and we went there today. I gathered up everything that patsy is taking and took them with us so Carol could test her with them. On the way over today, I was thinking, What the heck is she doing now that she wasn't doing a week ago.

Then it hit me about halfway between here and Emmett.

Holly Blood Pressure Pill!!!!! A week ago, I checked her blood pressure and it was a little higher then it had been so I started her on her pills again. OOOOPPPPPPPSSSS. That is what started causing the problem. Carol said no more pills for now. So we came home and she is already showing signs of getting better again. I made a mistake and now I know. Join me tomorrow to see if Carol has us on the right track. Thanks for riding along, RAZ

Things could be better

Well, I wished I had better news tonight. Patsy did not have a good day today. She stayed in bed and didn't move her legs and arms like she has been. I had to work for a couple of hours today and I had Christy come by and check on her. She fed her a yogurt and gave her some water. I was home soon after she left. If I can get her to the car tomorrow we will go see Carol and see what is going on. Our wonderful Government already screwed up Patsys check so this could be a long month. i am not sure how long it will take to get things back on track.

Patsy still knows what is going on around her even though she will forget it by tomorrow. I sometimes wish that she could talk more and know more about what is happening in our lives but for now I will settle for just having her here with me. It is amazing how much joy someone can bring to your life even if they are so different from what you are used to. Thanks for riding along, Raz

She told me today that I was full of C***!!!!!

It is a different Patsy then I am used to but I still want to keep her. She is hanging in there. I really wished her family could see her on a day like today rather then what they saw a couple of days ago.

Sometimes I ask myself if it is not just wishful thinking. I watch her so much that I notice any change and i have to tell you, I think the change is good.

So, today I started the day as usual by changing her and getting her ready for breakfast. After breakfast, Chad and Marty worked on the vent that I put in above the bed. As she watched them, she talked to them and laughed and smiled. I put a 2 x 3 up for framing and she even told me that it was crooked. She was right.

I fed her lunch and then she watched tv while I did some other work. We had dinner and then I went to Wal Mart for some her lunch items and some things for Patsy. I got home and told her "Hey Baby" and she answered right away. It is one of the ways that I know she is alright.

So, another pretty good day, I drive truck tomorrow, the kids will be with her tomorrow, and we keep going a day at a time. Thanks for riding along, RAZ