I want to see the kitchen!!!

Thank you Carol!!!! I just had the best day with Patsy that I have had in over a month. Carol gave us some stuff and said now we work on her brain. Wow!! Patsy was as clear while talking today as I have seen her in a long time. And she was saying a lot, not just yes and no answers. It was fun to be with her. I told her that I had just set the kitchen cabinets and she wanted to see them.

HOLY KNOCK ME OFF ME FEET!!!! So I put her in the wheel chair and moved her into the kitchen.

We had pizza tonight because the kitchen was still not ready for me to cook a big meal but almost. Thereasa came by tonight to say goodnight and Patsy said goodnight to her. I am heading for bed so thanks for riding along, RAZ

Kisses are good!!!!

Okay, okay stop yelling at me and I will do a post. Sorry that I have missed a few days, but I have been trying to make a little money so that I have enough for heat and gas and things to help make it through the winter. It as been hard but with the help from the girls, we have been making it. Thereasa, Christy, and Kari Norton have been watching her while I am gone. I have been getting her changed in the morning and I give her what ever meds she is taking. Thereasa then comes in after I leave and gets her some breakfast and what ever else she needs. Christy comes on Mondays and Kari comes on Wedsdays. Thereasa is here on all mornings and on fridays and she checks on here in the evenings until I get home. Thereasa has been cooking most evenings and that has helped. I take care of her at night and get her ready for bed. That has me busy from about 7:00 to 10:00 and then I try to get some rest.

But how is Patsy you say????? I don't really know what to say. Not good is probably a good answer but, she is still here and that is a blessing. She lays in her bed and watches tv (or at least stares at the tv). She has to be fed and changed. We give her a bath in bed and and wash her hair in bed. Carol thinks she has identified what is causing moms paralysis and we are working on it.

So where are we and what is next.

I remember it was this time last year when Patsy was picking me up from driving truck and I noticed that she was having problems with her driving. So, it has been a year. The Doctors say she has CJD disease. If that is true, then I guess time is running out because they say that the disease usually runs its course in about a year or less. They told her that she had about 6months when she was in the hospital. We are entering the 6th month. She has trouble talking yet she listens to everything you say and seems to understand.

Here are a couple of good signs to go with the bad. While she doesn't get out of bed much, Christy and I have been putting her in the chair for an hour when ever we can. She seems to do alright. A week ago I took her to Carol and she could not help me with her legs at all. Yesterday when I got her up to go to the chair, she actually helped with a couple of steps. Not many but a few. She has been laughing at some of the comedy shows and usually she just watches. This morning when she woke up, she rolled over towards me which never happens without help. When we change her, we roll her over to get the diaper on better and usually it is a chore and she says it hurts her. The pain pills aren't needed as often. When I ask her if she knows my name, 90 % of the time she does. Sometimes she will say no and I can see she is teasing.

She always says "hey baby" back to me when I say it to her. And while sex is something I forgot how to do, she still gives me good kisses. And when I tell her that I love her, She always says she loves me to. How many marriages can say that. I tell her that I love her every chance I get. I don't want her to forget. She is eating pretty good most of the time and I believe she has stopped losing weight and maybe is gaining a pound or two.

Is her brain sharp??? NO!! She can't even remember what happened earlier in the day sometimes. The other night a friend of ours came by and when she saw him, she recognized him immediately.

There are some thing I need to ask her but it doesn't do any good. I was so dependent on her for a long time and now she can't help much. But I am still building our dream home, she still wants to be here, our time together is still special, so on we go and you are all still invited to ride along, RAZ

Hello Everyone this is Katy, I was talking with my mother in law and she said that she couldn't post a comment. So I got on and changed the settings. So if you would like to leave a comment and couldn't before give it another try any one should be able to do it now. Sorry I can't give you an update on mom. To tell you the Truth being up here in Alaska I really don't know. Come on Pops you're killing us here.

Katy

Dad called me tonight and asked if I would put a few words on here. He apologizes for lack of posting but as you know he's been driving truck and by the time he gets home and gets Mom tucked in, he is all tuckered out. I don't really have a lot to say because I'm not there to know but the rumors are, that Mom had an excellent day today. Dad said she actually took her arms out of the covers to pet the dog and she hadn't done that for months.
Dad says to please stayed tuned because there is more to come.

There is a squirrel under my bed!!!!!!

Christy was the nurse of the day. Thereasa started out the day with Patsy by cooking her a nice breakfast and patsy ate everything. I stopped by on one of my runs just before Thereasa got back and gave patsy a doughnut and of course a big hug. She was doing much better then she had been doing the last couple of days. I left her with the doughnut and headed back to work. Thereasa came and cooked her some hot cereal.

Christy came on about 12:30 and she got Patsy up and helped her to the chair and fed her lunch. While she was up, Christy changed the sheets on the bed and then helped Patsy to a much needed (MUCH NEEDED) trip to the toilet.

The I got the phone call-----There is a squirrel under the bed. I first thought that it was like the pig and the mouse story, but wait, there really was a squirrel under my bed. HOLY ROCKY (remember the cartoon) How the heck did the rascal get in the bus. I think just through the door. Marty came and got the squirrel out and patsy laughed pretty hard about that.

Tonight she is tired and not doing as well as earlier but still better then yesterday.

Patsy and i have been together a long time. We met and sat by each other in the 9th grade speech class. We have been best friends and partners since we were just out of high school.

But I can honestly say that I have never felt closer or more in love with her then I do today. I am sad that she is going through this but I have been blessed to be able to help Patsy through this challenge and the blessings keep on coming. Whenever things get a little rough or the money gets a little tight, someone out there comes through with a little help. I thank everyone for your support and keep riding along with us on our journey. RAZ

A diaper on my head?????

So, Patsy has been a pill the last couple of days. Thereasa has tried to feed her and she won't open her mouth and Thereasa gets really mad!!! It is a little funny. When I got up today, she was not doing so well. It was a day of not knowing who I am and not talking or moving very much. Carol called and I told her what was going on and she told me to take her off the meds for a day. I did. So a little later and I was trying to get her to smile or laugh or something. What did I do you say?????

Okay, but no pictures. While I was changing her, I took her pull up diaper and opened it up and put it on my head. She laughed and laughed and it was great. Anyway, after a couple of Norcos, she is finally doing better tonight. I was glad I got to spend the day with her. But, unless it rains a bunch, I will be back hauling some onions tomorrow.

A check came in from Connie and Dick and it was just in time. They screwed up Patsys SSI (imagine that) and we were really getting in a pickle but I think we will be alright now. Thanks everyone for the help.

I layed awake last night and and and I wondered, what is next in our lives. Is this what we have to deal with for the rest of our time?? Is Patsy ever going to be able to walk again??? Will she get worse and do I need to be here for the next month??? Anyway, it gave me a headache and I fell asleep. I woke up today and said to myself, it really doesn't matter, we will just deal with it a day at a time and be glad for that day. So keep riding along, RAZ

Have another brownie!!!!!!

She is getting FAT!!!!! Well, maybe not fat, but she has gained 2 pounds since I last weighed her and that makes me very happy. We have worked to make sure that she eats enough to put some weight back on and I am happy to report that she weighed in at 124 tonight.

I also got her up and made her sit in a chair for awhile and that was good for her I think. I have been leaving between 7:30 and 8:00 and not getting back home until about 6:00. So that doesn't give me a good idea how her day went but the girls have been doing a great job. I wish Katy was here to spend some time with her and she might be able to come later this year.

So that is all I am going to report tonight. Thanks for riding along, RAZ

It's 4:00 in the morning!!!!

It is late and I need to get to bed but I want to share some thoughts with you.

Patsy has been unable to walk on her own for a couple of months now and as you know, she has been in a diaper for about the same amount of time. While laying in bed, she has not been able to move her legs a lot and her arms have been getting worse, She has not been able to eat by herself and needs to be fed. But, she still is able to communicate with us and she knows who we are and where she is. She also knows what you are saying to her but she has been unable to do more then yes and no answers. That all change a week or so ago and things are moving in a different direction. At 4:19 this morning. I was awakened by Patsy throwing the covers off and then kicking them off. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I have to go pee".

Now. with out you being here, You might not understand how big a deal that was. First of all, she was kicking the covers. Secondly, she said more then two words in a sentence. And last but not least, she felt the need to go to the bathroom.Most of the time she doesn't know until she is actually doing it in her diaper. I told her that she just needed to go in her diaper and she didn't want to, again good news. It gets better!!!!

The girls said that they fed her and then she asked for more, That never happens. Usually you can't get her to eat enough. Then she took the water bottle out of their hands and drank it by herself. Holy Crap!!!!!

I fed her tonight and she ate a bunch and we talked and she said more then usual. Thereasa said everytime she checked on her today, she was moving her legs and arms and when I called to see how mom was doing, she said great!!!

Carol says she has a handle on things and that news is better then the Docs report. Thereasa asked her if she wanted some orange juice and she said "I don't think we have any." Now she would not have a clue as she has not seen the inside of the fridge for months. But the fact that she was thinking about it was good.

Not being here and not seeing her, it is hard to express why we are so optimistic but we are and I hope you might have a better idea about her condition. We are way ahead of where they said we would be at this time in the game. Keep riding along with us and I will keep you up to date. RAZ

She will walk again!!!!

Christy came over today and gave mom a haircut. She got up and sat in a chair. I think she had another pretty good day. I left her in good hands at noon a went and started driving. I got home at 6:00 and we headed straight for Carols. Some new meds, a positive outlook from her, and we are home. Not a lot of change but we think things are moving in the right direction.

Ok, I am tired and need to get up at 6:00 to get things in order before work. Thanks for riding along, RAZ

What did she say about the trains?????

I won't tell you what she said today about the trains going by. It was a word that My clean cut hands can't even write. hehe But it was good to see some emotion from her.

We woke up about 6:00 and she was talking and crying. Most people would be upset that she was crying but I loved every minute of it. And talk, talk, talk!!!!!

I was changing her and my hands were cold. She was frowning at me and I asked her if she hated me. She looked at me and quoted a sales tool I used to tell her, "Don't ever ask a question that you might receive the answer you don't want". I loved it and where did that come from??? For weeks, yes and no answers were all one could expect. That, with a smile or laugh, made for some good conversation. I got her dressed and we went to carols.

She still needed my help to get to the van but she was walking better then she has for weeks or more. Carol said Patsy is doing fine and she has a good idea that she has a handle on this problem with Patsy. We are going back tomorrow night when I get off work, she has something coming in that she thinks will help Patsy.

Thereasa and I was talking tonight and she couldn't believe what a difference mom was showing today. We don't know what is in store for Patsy but we do believe that without Carols help, Mom would not be with us today. I don't even know what my bill is and she hasn't ask for anything in a while. I try to keep the meds that she orders paid so that it doesn't cost her anything.

So, We live another day and I am thankful for that.

Patsy is looking for a dress, size 8, so that she might go to church one weekend. All of her clothes are size 14 so that won't work.

Anyway, thanks for riding along and keep those prayers coming, RAZ

No real messes today

Is it the cold that has her down a bit???? She has had a temp today of around 100. That isn't real bad but it seems to knock her down a bit. She ate pretty good today and she is moving her legs and arms a bit more then she has but she is tired and isn't talking much. I think she does a little better when the fever breaks. I am going to try to get her to Carols tomorrow and see what she has to say. So, keep her in your prayers please and thanks for riding along, RAZ

A HOT DOG???? AGAIN??????

Sorry about last night but Patsy had me pretty busy. Okay. okay, here is the story.

First of all, Patsy has been sick with some kind of head cold. I don't think that is a good thing when you are in the condition Patsy is in. She had a fever that I spent the good part of the evening addressing. But that wasn't the only thing I had to deal with. You see, Patsy hasn't been real regular with her bowel movements and some of that problem is because she doesn't have control of those muscles. So after not being able to go number two for about a week, I decided to do my thing and help her out. Little did I know that the day that I give her some Milk of Magnesium was the day that she would get sick and be out of it. So, with out getting to graphic, while changing her and getting her ready for bed, I discovered a little present. While cleaning up that little present, I found that there was a bunch more presents waiting for Doctor Raz. CRAP!!!!!!

Because she was so weak from her condition and being a little sick, I knew trying to put her on the toilet would cause big problems as has been the issue in the past (remember what happened at the cabin). After a little digging and then an enema, we got a good start on cleaning her out but she didn't like it much. I knew there was more to come so I let her lay there without a diaper on her pads until 2:00. Then I said it was time for bed so I put the diaper on her and by 3:00, we were a sleep. 6;00 came faster then I wanted it to but she was stirring and it woke me. I asked her if she thought she needed some attention and she said that she thought so!!!!

HOLY WHATAMESSARONI!!!!! Not what I guy that has never done this kinda of thing likes to wake up to a 6:00. I told you, I think I am being punished for something.

Anyway, a clean Patsy and a chance to get a little more sleep. Chad called at 7:00, the dogs wanted out at 7:30, and I just gave up.

I asked my sweetie what she wanted for breakfast and I gave her a choice from 10 items that ranged from waffles to cold cereal. She said she wanted a hot dog??? I waited about 10 minutes before I asked her again to see if she might have a different answer.

"What do you want for breakfast?" "I told you, I want a hot dog." So guess who went to the store and bought some hot dogs.

So, she is feeling better but she isn't done giving me presents. All day long I was dealing with it. Do you think Thereasa would come out and give me a break. Heck no, she hid all day!!!!

Well, I told you the good and the bad so there you go. Thanks again for riding along with us, RAZ

It is my fault

I blew it and I really feel bad about it. So here it is. Patsy has been taking B-12 and a Vibropath called Mi Aura ( I think that is right). She was doing really good. Do you remember me talking about her calling me on the phone and moving her legs and arms. Then, all of a sudden, she started getting worse again and I didn't know why. So, I called Carol and we went there today. I gathered up everything that patsy is taking and took them with us so Carol could test her with them. On the way over today, I was thinking, What the heck is she doing now that she wasn't doing a week ago.

Then it hit me about halfway between here and Emmett.

Holly Blood Pressure Pill!!!!! A week ago, I checked her blood pressure and it was a little higher then it had been so I started her on her pills again. OOOOPPPPPPPSSSS. That is what started causing the problem. Carol said no more pills for now. So we came home and she is already showing signs of getting better again. I made a mistake and now I know. Join me tomorrow to see if Carol has us on the right track. Thanks for riding along, RAZ

Things could be better

Well, I wished I had better news tonight. Patsy did not have a good day today. She stayed in bed and didn't move her legs and arms like she has been. I had to work for a couple of hours today and I had Christy come by and check on her. She fed her a yogurt and gave her some water. I was home soon after she left. If I can get her to the car tomorrow we will go see Carol and see what is going on. Our wonderful Government already screwed up Patsys check so this could be a long month. i am not sure how long it will take to get things back on track.

Patsy still knows what is going on around her even though she will forget it by tomorrow. I sometimes wish that she could talk more and know more about what is happening in our lives but for now I will settle for just having her here with me. It is amazing how much joy someone can bring to your life even if they are so different from what you are used to. Thanks for riding along, Raz

She told me today that I was full of C***!!!!!

It is a different Patsy then I am used to but I still want to keep her. She is hanging in there. I really wished her family could see her on a day like today rather then what they saw a couple of days ago.

Sometimes I ask myself if it is not just wishful thinking. I watch her so much that I notice any change and i have to tell you, I think the change is good.

So, today I started the day as usual by changing her and getting her ready for breakfast. After breakfast, Chad and Marty worked on the vent that I put in above the bed. As she watched them, she talked to them and laughed and smiled. I put a 2 x 3 up for framing and she even told me that it was crooked. She was right.

I fed her lunch and then she watched tv while I did some other work. We had dinner and then I went to Wal Mart for some her lunch items and some things for Patsy. I got home and told her "Hey Baby" and she answered right away. It is one of the ways that I know she is alright.

So, another pretty good day, I drive truck tomorrow, the kids will be with her tomorrow, and we keep going a day at a time. Thanks for riding along, RAZ

A Carmel Shake!!!!!

Do you want the good news or the bad????? Wait, there isn't any bad. I told you last week that Carol says Patsy brain in working fine but the neural muscular problem is what we need to get firing. She said the problem is in her back where she has been in pain. We started her on a vibropathic to start fixing the problem. I think it is helping.

Before we started the stuff, patsy had very little use of her arms and legs. Now she is moving her legs alot and she even was able to feed herself a little today. Blew me away!!!!

Pats sister and brother and there spouses came by to see her the other day and before they left, her sister slipped us a little money that was really needed. She said to by Patsy something that she needed.So I did!!!!

A CARMEL SHAKE!!!!! She said she really needed it. So I brought it home and I handed it to her. I watched her take her first drink to make sure that she could. The great part of this story is that I left it with her and she drank the whole thing. I guess you need to be around her more to know just how neat that is.

So, she is doing better and moving her legs and arms better, AND, she only has had 1 pain pill in several days. None today at all. So we are happy here!!!!

Thanks so much for riding along, RAZ

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream

It is really funny how well she talks when she wants Ice Cream!!!! She had a pretty good day but bot perfect. The day started good but later in the day she asked me for a pain pill. That always wacks her a bit. Some of her family came by today and she was quite when they were here. I felt bad that she was not able to talk with them a bit more. Later today she got a bit better, the pill wore off I think.

Thereasa made her a waffle and it had huckleberries in it. She ate the whole darn plate. Christy came by and helped me wash her hair. That really helped me because I do it while she is in bed. We hang her head over the bed and Christy washes it while I hold her head up.

So she is ready for bed and watching tv. I am baking bread and I want some so I will be up a bit. Thanks for riding along tonight, RAZ

I got my hug today!!!

Holly Hugaroni!!! So if my daughter is done messing with the blog, I will do a post.

When I wake up in the mornings, The first thing I do is look at Pat and make sure that she is still with me. Some nights I have spent most of the night checking to make sure that things are alright but lately, she has been sleeping pretty good at night and so have I. When I look at her I always ask her if she is ok and she answers me with I think so. She usually sleeps on her back and I like to change that in the morning so I reach around her and roll her towards me. This usually hurts her quite a bit but she lets me turn her towards me and I give her a big hug. I like to rub her back but usually she stops me because of the pain.

Last night we started her on what Carol says will take care of this pain and get her muscles working again. I gave her two doses yesterday.

WOW!!!! Today, she rolled towards me for our morning hug and I didn't even have to do much work. We were snuggling and I asked her if rubbing her back was hurting and she said no that it felt pretty good. I couldn't believe it and was very happy. And then she started talking and that was great. I told her that she was working her way to a nice dinner at the Texas Road House (her favorite place to eat) and she said she would like that and I told her maybe Sunday.

We got the day started, no pain pills today. Patsy moved her legs and arms more today then I have seen in weeks and Thereasa made the same comment. I didn't do much today because they called and said they were not going to start the onions until friday, so I spent most of the day just being with Patsy and It was great.

I don't know how long this will last, Carol thinks great things will happen. But I am happy that she had the day that she had.

Another thing we noticed was that she was talking better the she has for a long time and making better sense. I told her again that she was beautiful (I tell her that every day) and again she smile and laughed.

So, Patsy had a good day and we have a wonderful bunch riding along with us. Hang in there with us, IT AINT OVER YET!!!!!!!! RAZ

WIll he be Mad??

It's kind of fun knowing Dads sign on... =)