I scared!!!!

Patsy is doing great. I have fed her twice today and she is up in her chair watching tv while I do house work. Last night was a bit rough. She was doing the shaking and trembling thing that she has done in the past. She was trying to sleep but was just to jerky. I didn't know if she was in pain or not but i decided to give her one Excedrin pm. It worked. She went into a deeper sleep and was more relaxed. I have now started sleeping in my bed. That is something that I haven't done for a long time. I have been sleeping in the recliner next to Patsy. The bed felt pretty good last night. I still get up every couple of hours to turn patsy. I really would much rather be next to her but maybe the day will come when I can get her to the back of the rv a little easier.

HOLLY PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY!!!! Lucille brought me over a loaf of homemade bread and it is almost gone. Ham sandwiches on homemade bread taste pretty good. I traded a little ham for some turkey that Thereasa is cooking today. That should take care of the rest of the bread. Monday, Kari said she would bake some cookies.

HOLLY PEANUT BUTTER. I WON'T BE ABLE TO EAT THEM!!!!

Monday I am going in for oral surgery. I scared!!!!! Not looking forward to it. Kari will be here all day Monday to take care of patsy. Christy is coming Monday night to feed her and get her ready for bed. I hope by then that I am back on my feet good enough to take care of her that night. I wished Patsy was here to take care of me. I may not do another report for a couple of days unless things change. So keep riding along and keep up the prayers and support, RAZ

It is getting better!!!!!

The blessings just keep on coming. First of all, yesterday was the first day that that I have really been able to go goof off and not worry a bit. Kari seems to like working with Pat and I am pretty happy. We have not weighed her yet but I know she is finally gaining weight. Today the therapist was working her legs and she was actually resisting and pushing. She even had her sitting up and she was holding her self up almost by her self. That is the best she has been in a long long time. And to top it all off, she had her standing and putting weight on her legs.

Someday, she is going to talk to me and when she does, I might be in trouble. Anyway, I love to see her continuing to improve even if it is just babysteps. I am starting to do some of the projects that i need to do since Kari is here. Life is good so keep riding along on our journey, RAZ

What a weekend

Well fellow travelers, here is an update!!!! This has been the best day that I have had in over 6 months. Her is why. I just finished the Idaho State Convention the we have been working on and i have the behind me for another year. This year wasn't to bad because the people working on the Convention all did a great job.

I went over thursday night and started setting up. Friday the doors opened and the work began. Christy brought Patsy over to the hotel friday night to spend the rest of the weekend there. Saturday the girls (Carey and Christy) got her ready and brought her out to see the group. They seemed happy to see her and she seemed happy to see them. Back to her room and then the relatives and friends started showing up. She was really tired but they all commented on how great she looked.

Today we got up at 4:30 and watched some tv and at 6:00, she was still awake so I asked her if she wanted to go back out and help me get set up. She indictated that she would so I got her dressed and put her in her wheelchair and away we went. It was fun to see her up. She stayed awake all the way home and has been up most of the day. She is eating and swallowing good.

there are some other great things going on but the best news came today.

You have heard me talk about leaving patsy with Kari from time to time when I go to Boise in the evening. Kari and my daughter grew up together and she is as close to being part of the family as you can get without actually being in the family. Other then my own daughters, there is nobody that I trust Patsy with except her. Well, I learned today that she has been hired by the company that I now have taking care of Patsy. Tomorrow I will get her assigned to Patsy and that will be great!!!! I know Patsy loves her by the big smile whenever Kari come over. With her involved, I will be able to take full advantage of the 31 hours that the state has approved for her per week. I might even be able to find a part time job for one or two days a week to help out a bit. At the very least, I will be able to do work around here and on the bus without having to stop and feed and bathe her etc. I really feel like a lot has been taken off my shoulders.

Patsy is watching Shrek 2 on tv and the Donkey is making her laugh. I know she will talk to me again if she continues to improve. So we keep on going down the road. See ya soon , RAZ

Hotel Visit

Just wanted to remind everyone that we're over here in Boise this weekend. We are staying the Boise hotel And Conference center on Visit. It's the old Holiday in. we're in room number 115. Please stop in to see Mom anytime on Sat. If you come and we're not in the room give us a call we won't be far 550-7710 see you then.

A good day!!!!!!

I guess after days like today I need to really think about all the blessings that i have. I have good family, good friends, and pretty good health. I was lifting her today and I was thinking that I sure am glad that I am strong enough to do what I need to do.

Yesterday Patsy slept most of the day and had a fever and I was kind of worried about her. But when I woke up at 5:30 this morning, Patsy looked at me and gave me a smile. That started what ended up being a great day. So what is a good day???? A good day for me is when Patsy is alert and awake and tries to communicate with me. It is when a tell her a joke or say something funny and she laughs at me. It's when I give her a kiss and she doesn't want to stop. HOLLY MAKE OUT SESSION!!!!!!! A good day is when she tries to eat with a spoon and does even if it is only for a minute and then I have to finish with a syringe. A good day is when she tries to talk and only sounds come out but at least she tries!!!!! Tonight she was moving both arms at the same time and it was fun to see. It is 10:00 and she is still awake and I just got done feeding her a bowl of ice cream. I have my ups and downs with her but today was definitely and up day.

Some one put some money in her bank account and that really helps take the pressure off. I wished I knew who so that i could try to figure out away to give back a little some how.

Her therapist says she is definitely improving and that also makes me happy.

So, I will count our blessings, say a little prayer and thank my Heavenly Father for another day with this gal, and go to my chair for another nights sleep to get ready for what ever it is that I am suppose to do tomorrow. Thanks to all of you for riding along as the journey continues, RAZ

It has been a good week!!!

Did I ever tell you how much I love taking care of my sweety. I know, I often complain about having to cook and do dishes and laundry, but, all it takes is one of her smiles and things are great. She has been having a bunch of good days. The therapist says she is doing really good and the speech therapist started yesterday and so we will see how that does. She couldn't get her to move her mouth and was concerned that she couldn't. I said, Oh watch this!!!!! i bent over to give her a kiss and she puckered up a big one. I showed them how I was feeding her and they couldn't believe that I would put that much time and effort into feeding her. I suppose a feeding tube would be easier but I just can't do it until I think all options are off the table.

So, next week is a busy one for us. Monday is bath day and she gets weighed again. Thursday she goes to Christys while I head for the convention. Friday after noon they bring her over the hotel and she will stay Friday night and Saturday night there and I will bring her home Sunday. I'll net it will take her a week to recover. We will be in room 115 if you want to see her on Sat.

It is time to go feed her so I will say see ya later, RAZ

Why is she in trouble?????

I guess I had better take a minute and do an update. I was going to last night but I had a pain pill in me for a tooth problem that I am having and my daughter told me I had better not write anything. She told me to go to bed and stay off the computer.HEHE

Sunday the sun came out and I asked Patsy if she wanted to go for a drive. She said yes so I got her dressed and loaded her in the car and away we went. We went to Manns creek reservoir and on up the road past there a bit. On the way she fell asleep and we headed back to weiser. I wasn't ready to go home yet and I figured that if she was going to sleep she could do it in the car just as easily. I went to Ridleys and bought her a pudding pack and a water and we went to the park and i fed her. She went back to sleep and I went for a drive.

When I got her home she slept the rest of the day.

Monday was bath day at the nursing home and another chance to weigh her. I was a little disappointed that she hadn't gained any but was really happy that in three weeks since the last time we weighed her, no weight loss. Holly jump for joy!!!!

Today was a great day. Kathy Berquist came by and spent some time with her. She was really happy to see her. She tried talking to her several times. It was great!!!!! She was up most of the day and I think she had a pretty good day.

She is in trouble though. Have you ever watched funniest home videos where the baby did a little number while being changed???? Yep, she did!!!! And then when I told her what she did, she laughed at me. Oh well, such is a day in my life but the journey continues and I am glad your are riding along, RAZ

Baby steps again!!!!!

I fed Patsy some eggs for dinner and I did it with a fork. HOLY CHUCKARAMMA!!!!! What does it mean???? Last week Patsy checked out and I was surprised that she came back from where she was where ever that was. And where was she.

Here is a question for you. Where was she??? Why did she come back??? If you all could have seen what I saw, You would be asking that question also. I ask myself that if it was her time to go, why didn't she stay gone??? So. I guess my work is not done.

Monday I will find out if I have been successful with stopping the weight loss. We think I have been by looking at her face. She seems to be filling out a bit and everyone says she is looking good. Carey and Chad came over yesterday and brought the kids. I think she really enjoyed them. I have also noticed that she has started to try to talk more. That makes me happy. What all that means is that she is starting to use her brain more and open her mouth to try to talk and to eat. That is a good sign I think. So, we keep going. Thanks for being there, RAZ

I wish I could sleep!!!!

It is 3:30 am and I can't sleep. I got up to check on Patsy and turn her to her other side. She is sleeping soundly but she woke up when I turned her. She look at me and I told her hi!!! She smiled back. I gave her a kiss and she went back to sleep. I wish our sleeping arrangements were different because i would love to snuggle with her but I would rather that she didn't get any more bedsore so I will continue to sleep in the recliner next to her bed.

Christy came by today and stayed with her while I went for another dentist appointment. I have done about all I can afford to do so the rest will probably have to wait. I spent more then I really had but, Chad owes me a little and that should catch me up until the first. Christy gave Patsy a hair cut and she really looks great!!! She told me that she thought her face was filling out just a bit. That made my day. Funny how little things are more important now days.

Well, I have two meetings in Boise tomorrow night. I have people lined up to stay with my girl while I am gone. So I better get off of here and try to get some sleep. Until next time, continue the ride with us, Raz

yesterday she made me cry, today she made me laugh

So, I was up most of the night. I was afraid to go to sleep and then have her do her thing again. At 6:30 am I looked over at her and she was wide awake. I was glad to see that and I turned the tv on to something besides the music and went to sleep for another hour.

I fed her a bowl of hot cereal and she ate it all and she even let me feed her with a spoon. That was awesome. Kari came by to see her right after I fed her lunch and she was all smiles and tried to talk to her. She really likes her for some reason. I think Kari gives her treats or something when she stays with her. I made her a Progresso soup for lunch. I was trying to feed her with a syringe and she reached up and took it from me. I asked her "now what are you going to do with it?"

She shrugged her shoulders and that made me laugh!!!!

She has been awake all day. Christy came by and we checked her oxygen and blood pressure. Everything is right where it has been. I just don't understand but I will keep it up as long as she will. I read a report that says that 78% of all men that are put in a similar situation as I am, bail out and do something different. I don't think that makes me special, I just thing that makes them not as lucky as I am. I am so blessed to have this lady to take care of. So, the journey continues and I want to thank you for riding along, RAZ

Just when you get to where you start sleeping at night!!!

Today started great!! I fed Patsy a nice breakfast and we got the day started. She was doing really good and i was working on getting her to open her mouth and stick out her tongue. Just some exercises trying to get her to be able to eat better. I even was helping her try to form words and she was really trying.

At 2:00, I got on the phone and was working with verizon to try to get my phone bill down a bit. I was about a half an hour with them and then I realized that I needed to get patsy some lunch. I got up and went into the kitchen and started some soup on the stove. I went back to patsy to get her up so that i could feed her.

I couldn't!!! And I got to looking and I could not see her breathing. I lifted her arms and legs and there was nothing. I turned her head back and forth. Still nothing. I lifted her eyelids and no eye movement at all. I grabbed her shoulders and tried to make her come back. She was white as a ghost. I knew I had lost my Baby. I tried to call my daughter. And then I notice her chest move ever so slightly. My girl was trying to breathe!!!! I started slapping the inside of her legs and moving her arms and calling to her. I think I shed a tear but I am not sure if that was because I thought she had left me or that I was glad to see her still with me. After about 10 minutes of working on her, she opened her eyes. Christy got here and we checked her over. Her color had returned, Her pulse was beating. she was breathing and responding to us. She was back to where she was earlier. She smiled and we even got a chuckle out of her. WHAT!!!!!!! Did she have any idea what she just put me through???? I finished cooking her soup and fed it to her. She ate the whole thing. I changed her, turned her on her side and went to the store to get a few things. Thereasa stayed with her. Tonight she is awake, watching tv, and I just said hi to her and she said hi back. She seems to be okay, I am a nervous wreck. I sat down and had a good cry and I am sure by next month, I will be okay.

So, that was my day, how was yours??? Okay, I need to go make her some pudding. Thanks for listening, RAZ

The journey continues!!!!

A better day today. I got patsy up and she sat in her chair most of the day. I think I may have got a little bit of stuff in her lungs. It is so hard to get her to swallow properly when I feed her with a syringe. I am watching her really close. If it gets out of hand, I will have to put her on an antibiotic. So far, she is doing okay, just an occasional cough that she just can't get out. We almost went for a drive today but by the time I got home from the dentist, I had so much to catch up on that we didn't go.

I tried to get Patsy to talk tonight and she tried. I got her to say hi and I was tring to get her to say Raz. It was like trying to get a baby to talk. She was really trying and that was cool for this time of night. Usually, nothing goes on this time of night but sleep and I mean a deep sleep. So I think things were good today!! We hope for more of the same. RAZ