I made a loaf of bread

I know that isn't a big deal and yes I did use a breadmaker that I found at a yard sale for $1.00.

Patsy probably thinks that is pretty funny and I expect a phone call from Kathy to make fun of me but I did it anyway. Davalee hid my cookbook, no wait, Carey has it, so I went on the web and found instructions. It turned out pretty good.

So what is new for Patsy??? Well the pain is still coming and going. She did walk to the bathroom twice today without my help. She even said she felt pretty good right up to the time the pills wore off. I guess what is new is that her feet and ankles are swollen quite a bit. That is a little suprising since she doesn't get up a whole bunch.

I have been getting some done on the bus and will post some pics in a day or two on my blog. Check them out at www.razway.blogspot.com

Patsy is calling me so enough for tonight. I am going to have her do a post maybe tomorrow. Remember, it might sound a little funny but we will try. RAZ

Look at her now!!!!

Doesn't she look a bunch better???? I took this picture today and thought you might enjoy seeing Patsy with out the raccoon eyes. She really healed up quick which is fantastic because now the cops will leave me alone.

Not to bad of a day today. She went outside to get a little fresh air. Carol told her to get out at least once a day. I told her the same thing a week ago but what do I know. Anyway, it was good to see her about if even for a little while.

Holy tellastory!!!! Last night she was wound up again. I am going to buy a recorder so that I can remember some of the wild things that she says. It is so funny some times. When I can remember what she says and we talk the next day, she even gets a laugh out of it.

She still has had a bit of pain today but she is up and has eaten well today.

Ok, let me go find the picture that I took. She you all tomorrow, RAZ

Ice cream, ice cream, Patsy screams for ice cream!!

Patsy had some pain pills early this morning and so she slept until about noon. I told her that I was going to make a trip to Boise to pay a doctor bill and she said she wanted to go with me. So, I helped get her a bath and some clean clothes and away we went. She had not eaten so we had the Kentucky Fried Chicken for lunch in Ontario. then a stop in Nampa and a stop in Boise and we were done. We were close to the park so we took a little cruise.

We ended up out by the Boise train depot and then hit the freeway headed for home. She begged me and begged me for a caramel ice cream sunday. She all but cried trying to get me to take her clear across town to the Fancy Freeze on state street. Ok, Ok, it was my idea but she liked it and she ate the whole darn thing.

That was fun!!!

We made a trip to Emmett and Carol took a minute to see Patsy. She says things still look really good and is looking forward to seeing Patsy next Monday.

All and all Patsy had a pretty good day. Tomorrow I will take a picture of her to show how well her face has cleared up. See ya then, RAZ

Is Patsy doing better? It DEPENDS on who you ask.

I fell asleep last night. My nights have been pretty rough lately. I don't go to sleep until after patsy is tucked in for the night and I am always up around 7:00 or earlier. So last night I was pretty tired and , well, I missed a night. But, I am back, and here is your report for the night.

I really don't know how to tell what is going on with Patsy. Last year in August, Patsy drove her car on the Ride Idaho ride. But I can tell you that her personality had begun to change. Things have continued down hill since then. When Patsy was in the hospital, she was at about the lowest time. She couldn't talk and complete a sentence. She was having a lot of pain for the weeks leading up to that time and that is what got her in the hospital the first time.

Since then, I think things have leveled out a bit. She still is having a lot of problems but she has been having some good as well.

So here is where we are today, the good and the bad. In the last three days she has needed almost no pain pills, three to be exact. And that is fantastic I think. She also still eats pretty good and has been up alot more then in the past.

So here is the bad news. Patsy is now having to use depends because she was having a hard time making it to the bathroom all the time. She is also having a hard time walking. If things continue, I am going to re-configure the bedroom to make it easier for her. It appears that the tremors are getting worse if that is what she has. She shakes quite often but I don't know if that is really tremors. She still can get really wacko at nights and it sometimes worse then others and I relate that to the drugs and her being so tired.

She is still hanging on and we are excited that things have not got really bad yet. The info on the net says that this disease progresses really fast and Patsy seems to be holding her own.

So, it is almost August again. One year after she started having some symptoms. You can make the decision as to whether she has got this thing beat and is now healing, or if tough times are still ahead. I am just taking it one day at a time and thankful to have that day.

She was unable to go lead her choir today and that upset her. She is hoping this thing turns around soon. Ok, enough for now. See you all tomorrow night. RAZ

Crash Patsy is retired for now

Well, I guess it was just to much to ask that we have two good days in a row. I have learned to dealwith it one day at a time. Pat was hurting and when she takes the pain pills, she just does not have a good day. I believe she looses a lot of her body controls because of the meds. Today was no exception. I even had to change the sheets to day.

At about 4:00, I gave her some excedrin instead of the norco. It helped. She was able to get rid of most of the pain and she regained some of her senses.

Hey, I forgot to tell you about our shopping at Walmart. I had to pull Patsy driving permit on the Walmart carts. I was afraid a lawsuit was in store from the people she was running over. So now, I take her shopping in the wheel chair Derk gave us. The problem is that Patsy kept dropping the items I put on her lap. So, I now have learned to push the wheel chair with one hand and the cart in the other. Thank goodness for the wide aisles. People think we are cute until I try to take the corner.

Back to Patsy. She is doing fairly well tonight. Much better then today.. I am going to try not give her Norco except as a last result. I have some excedrin PM and I want to try that to start the night if she says she needs something. We will see what happens. Goodnight all. RAZ

For Better or for Worse, today was for the better

When do I get to sleep??? Last night I went to bed about 11:00. A few minutes of sleep, a couple of trips to help Pat to the bathroom, and then a wonderful night of talking. It was great!!! She felt good and wanted to talk and this time she was making sense, so we talked and talked. I got up about seven and decided to check on her again about 8:00. After a "good morning" from her and great hug, I went to start breakfast. Then a little pain set in. She ate breakfast and had a couple of pain pills and went back to sleep for awhile.

Then things got really good. Patsy said that she wanted to go with me to Ontario. WOW!!! I got her dressed and away we went. We did a little shopping at Wal Mart and then a little lunch and spot on the River to eat. It was wonderful. I should mention that she wanted a doughnut for desert. for those that know Pat, that is amazing.

I trip back to Weiser and a ride around town to see the festivities and she was ready for some rest. When we got back to the RV, I grab us a couple of cold drinks, a couple of chairs, and a shady spot under the tree.

Now I know what you must be thinking. What's the big deal, right???? Well, I realize that it is not a big deal to most but it was a really big deal to me. Any minute that we can sit together and have the kind of day that we had today, is a gigantic deal to me. I look forward to more of the same. Oh, here is a current pic of the Racoon! Thanks for riding a long. RAZ

The Raccoon Is almost gone.

Carol Says "Patsy is doing really good". What the heck does that mean?????

Patsy cannot walk with out my help!! She keeps me up at night sometimes with her weird stories!!

She is in pain a good part of the time!! And to top it off, she has to eat my cooking!!!!

And the funny part is, I BELIEVE her. I am able to talk with Pat better then we used to. And she doesn't seem to be getting any worse. That is not what the Doctors told me would happen.

I'll take that for now. We went to Careys after the appointment and I left her with them while I went to Boise for a meeting. I think she rested most of the time she was there but she is doing okay tonight so far. Oh, did I mentioned that they are having another boy??? What the heck is up with that.

Carol told us today that she is good for 12 more days without any treatments and to just be patient so I guess that is just what we will do. Her eyes are almost all cleared up. that is amazing to see. Carol points to that as her system is healing.

See you tomorrow night RAZ

"gobble the turkey"

I really wished Patsy could type because she would really like to thank some people for their support. Today we received some help from two family members today and it is really hard to let them know how we feel, and Patsy can't even write them to thank them. She knows what she wants to say but it is hard for her to get the words from her head to her hands. I hope my words get the job done when I say thanks to everyone for your help and support.

Another bad day for Patsy. She was trying not to take any pain meds because she really wanted to go do some things today. It didn't work. The good news is, the pain pills worked. The bad news is, she didn't. It is very confusing to me. She told me that she was hurting and I asked her where and she said from her neck down. Time to get the big pills out. She took some at 12:00 and then rested all day. About 5:00, she got up and I helped her take a bath and then I cooked some supper.

Oh, by the way Kathy, we had Chicken Piccata for dinner as I improve my cooking talent. That ought to blow her away. We went camping with them one time and we got there before they did. (remember this one Kathy???) We cooked a turkey in the pit and when she got there, we already had the turkey in the pit and the pit covered up. We asked Kathy what they were having for dinner and as I remember, it was chilly or stew from a can I think. She asked us what we were having and I told her we were having turkey and stuffing. She thought I was pulling her leg, we did that quite often. HEHE

Okay, enough of that. We are headed to Carols tomorrow and then over to Careys who has just moved back. I will leave Pat with her while I catch a meeting in Boise.

Thanks again for all your support and prayers. Patsy wants you to know how much she loves you all.

Goodnight for now RAZ

Give me that Darn Remote

First of all lets clear up a little business. Sis, I am not going to answer all those questions that you wrote in your comments. I know all the answers but I don't want to show off.

Second, I did not beat up Patsy. I really wanted to last night when she would not give me the remote. She has a hard time focusing on the right buttons to push sometimes and we was watching the movie and she fast forwarded the dang thing into next week before she could find the right button. I tried to help her and boy did the fit hit the sham. I did get a little bit (just a little bit) upset!!!!! I reached for the remote and she refused to give it to me. It was that independent side coming out. Well, I got the remote but that is all I got and will get for a long, long, time!!!

Today was not one of Patsys best days. The pain was back. Denise brought over one of those rice heat pads that you put in the microwave and heat up and she used that. It seemed to help. By 5:00, she got up and had some dinner. Breakfast and lunch she got in bed. Boy is she going to owe me big time someday. I got her dressed and took her for a short drive to see all the town growing for the Fiddle week.

When we got home she was tired and so off to bed for her. I always hope for a better day tomorrow.

Medicaid turned me down again today for financial assistance for me for staying here and taking care of her. They said that they would come and do a home evaluation and arrange for someone to come in and take care of her. It is amazing that they would pay $2,000 per month for someone to come in and do what I would do for much less. Patsy doesn't want anybody but me and I have promised her that I will be here for her. With the help of family, I believe we will be alright.

Besides, they would never approve her living here and using Thereasa's house for bathing and toilet facilities. They would want to put her in a nursing home and that ain't happening. So it is going to be her and I and we will make do some how.

Ok, no pics tonight but Pat is looking better. The redness is going away and being replaced with green and yellow but it is clearing up. Here bruise on her back is completely gone but I was not able to use the same stuff on her eyes. But things are getting better so we will see tomorrow. Goodnight all, RAZ

I love Raccoons

Happy Fathers day to all the fathers that might be reading this today.The raccoon and I had a pretty good day. The last picture of her is not a true visual as to what she looked like after the blood settled around Pats eyes. Today the swelling is down but the area around her eyes is bigger. Now the greens and yellow colors are setting in. She really looks scary. I have a pic from today, I might put it on here.

Patsy has had a couple of good days. In fact, every since she fell and screwed up her face, she has been doing very good. She has been eating good and talking good and it has been very refreshing.

We went to the family reunion and Patsy had a wonderful time. It was great seeing the family. They have been a big help and a lot of support. Patsy told me a week ago that it would be fun to have a T-short that said "I am still alive" so I got her one and she wore it to the reunion. Her pain has been a lot better and Carol says she is working on the charlie horses Pat has been having in her legs. She did not have any today that I know of. She has not had to take hardly any pain pills for three days now. I think that is wonderful.

I just helped her clean up a bit and got her to bed. She didn't ask for any pills but the night is still young.

So basically, not much to report. All the news is pretty good for the last couple of days and Carol is pretty convinced that better days are ahead.!!!! We continue to hold on to that news. Okay, let me get out of here and see if I can put some pics on here. See ya, raz

I am tired

Real quick, patsy had a preety good day. We went to her family reunion. It is late but I will give a full report tomorrow. goodnight RAZ

If you tell me no one more time!!!!!

Wow. When she does something, she does it up right. Do you think she finally learned that she needs to ask for help??? We'll see. But hey, after the big crash, she seemed to have a really good day. The only pain pills that she has had is some excedrin for the pain on her face. I think Dad used to tell me that he could make the pain in one part of my body disappear by hurting another part of my body. Only time I disagreed with him was when he hit me in a private part with an ice ball. I don't think there was any part of my body that he could have hurt worse.

Okay, okay, back to Pat. She ate more food today then any day in the past 2 weeks. Thereasa came in and help with Mom. After she crashed, I got her up and she still needed to use the toilet. Trouble was, while sitting on the pot, I could see that she was about to pass out on me. I grabbed her just in time. She was out of here. I was able to pick her up and put her in bed and she came back pretty fast. Thereasa came over and helped me get the blood cleaned up and get an ice pack (ok, bag of frozen corn) on her. After getting her cleaned up and back to life a bit, I cooked her breakfast and she wanted to stay in bed and she wanted me to feed her. I had cooked enough for both of us and was glad to see Thereasa come back. She said she would feed mom and I could eat while the food was hot. They sat back in the bedroom and talked and laughed while mom ate her breakfast. She ate everything and that was great.

Then for lunch, she told me she wanted a bologna sandwich with tomatoes so I gave her one. She had some rice cakes and a few chips and a peanut butter bar. I was sure glad she was eating.

After lunch, we took her next door for a hot bath. She did really good, but her legs just don't work and I really have to almost carry her to the house.

So, we are sitting here watching tv and Jenni brought over some roses from her bushes at her house. They are talking while I write this note.

Patsy says she wishes I would not make her go to the family get together tomorrow because she looks so bad. I think she will go.

OK enough for now. RAZ

Goodmorning Thoughts

It is just before 6 and I can’t sleep

I hear the birds singing out side our home.

Pat is beside me and resting well

And for that, I am so happy.

We’re snuggling as I rub her back

I fill a tremble every now and then.

But I feel her breathing in my ear

And for that, I am so happy.

I kiss her cheek, it’s soft and warm

Her hair tickles my nose a bit

She whispers I love you, It makes me cry

But still, I am so happy

We never know what the Lord has in store

Each day is different and hard to plan.

But I got the share one more with Pat

And for that, I am so happy

I really "Just Don't Know"

If you are waiting for me to make a post, I am here but it will be short. Last night was a bad one. Patsy woke up at 2:00 and I helped her to the bathroom. We went back to bed and then she went wack-o again. She was pretty crazy for over an hour and I tried to get her to go back to sleep with no luck. At 3:00, she asked me for some excedrin for her headache. I gave her some and 30 minutes later she finally went back to sleep. I was really worried as usual. Today when she woke, she got up to go to the bathroom and she walked by her self and looked really good. But pain hit her hard and she stayed in bed all day. I cooked dinner and she got up to eat at about 5:00. She ate really good and is here on the couch. I just helped her to the bathroom and she did not do very well. Her legs just won't work tonight. Is it the pain pills??? Is it the disease??? I just don't know. Also, she has the shakes quite a bit. Is it the tremors that is talked about???? Again, I don't know!!!!

Are things progressing or is she just having a couple of bad days??? Again, I just don't know!!!

Lets hope for a better day tomorrow. RAZ

Thereasa said I should "Lighten Up"

Well, here we are again. Thanks for stopping by. Patsy had a so so day I guess. I am the one that had the bad day. But since this is about Pat, let me give you her report. She had some pretty good pain early today so I got her taken care of and then I went grocery shopping. We tried to go together the other night but it didn't work out. I guess I must have done something wrong because I got to clean out the fridge today. I am not sure why I was in trouble but I did it anyway.t I think I found stuff that Pat put there on purpose just to make me sick.

Back to Pat. She did not do anything to day but lay around. She only had one pain pill and I was happy to see that. She is still dealing with some pain in her legs and back. We are watching a little tv tonight and I cooked her a nice dinner. Asparagus stuffed chicken and rice. (I bought it that way, settle down Kathy).

Her bruise is starting to lighten up a bit and it is not as sore. She continues to shake when trying to lift her self or get up and she still gets tired really easy.

But she is still smiling and talking to me and we are happy to have shared another day together!!

We are looking forward to this weekend and then I think another outing is in the plan.

That is all for now. See you all tomorrow.

For Better or for Worse

Another day has come and gone and it hasn't been a good one. Patsy has been in bed most of the day and and her legs are hurting and her back and her head. On top of that, the results are back from San Fransisco and they are no different then the Boise doctor said. It was expected but still very depressing. She is worried. She was a little messed up tonight so I told her to get a good night sleep and we would hit it again tomorrow. I am trying to get the State to help us financially with some kind of funding for me to stay home and take care of her. It doesn't look good. The lady said that I should remember "For Better or For Worse". I wanted to throw the phone at the wall.

So, tomorrow is another day and we will see what happens.

She will kill me when she sees this pic on the blog!!!

I told you I would share the good and the bad. One of these pictures is of Patsys back after a fall Sunday morning.. She has fallen several times but this one was probably the worst one yet. She cried but when I asked her if she was okay, she told me she was just Damn Mad!!!! Remember though, she did go to church and led the choir after this fall.
The other picture we took on the ride we went on last week. I thought it was pretty cool and thought you might enjoy it, Pat did.
I tried putting myself in Pats shoes to understand how she is feeling. Imagine with me if you will, after over 50 years of doing what you want when you want, waking up to realize that you can no longer even go to the bathroom with out some help. No more playing the piano or organ. No more taking girls on hikes in the mountains. Forget trying to bake a cake or cook a meal or cookies for that dang RAZ. Even something that is as simple as typing an email to thank people for their help is out of the question A mother that did her best to raise 7 children now having to be helped into and out of bed.
Pretty rough!! She knows that I have been put in a position that is not exactly a cake walk, but I have tried to make her understand that I would not have it any other way.
But she has been having some good days and we stay optimistic.
So what did Carol say???? Well I don't have a clue. She does her thing and talks to Pat (no, not the physical Pat but the other one) . Don't ask and I won't try to explain it to you. She tells us that Pat is getting better and Pat and I just happen to believe her. The clock has been running for some time now and other then her legs still not working right, there are some signs that things are improving or at least holding their own. Pat and I are of course a little impatient but Carol says to just hang in there.
So, the Leavitt family reunion is next week and we are hoping to go and see everyone. Davalee is pretty happy this year because she knows Raz doesn't have much money so I won't be able to outbid her on items this year.
HOLLY POTLUCKARONI!!!!!!!!! I just realized that we are supposed to bring a potluck dish. Now what am I going to do???? What is a potluck dish and how do I make it. Help me Patsy!!!
Well, I had better close and go find that darn cookbook that Davalee keeps growling about and see what I can come up with. Keep up those prayers. Pat and I really need them. RAZ

Don't call the cops on me please!!!!

So now I have to treat her really nice because she says if I don't, she is going to call the cops and tell them that I have been abusing her. You see, today she fell again before church an scraped her back and now she has a big black and blue mark on her back. I think she is finally starting to realize that she might need a little help from time to time. Anyway, I am not to worried that she will call the cops because she can't find her cell phone. Hehehe.

Okay, so we went to church and she was able to lead the choir again. There was a lot of people out of town and Pat was not even sure that enough people would show for choir. But they did and she was able to make it through another performance. I had to sit behind her and hold her up but I don't mind that. I think that the choir sounded pretty good from what people said. I don't know how she does it month after month. She says she has some help. I have to believe her.

We go see Carol again tomorrow. Maybe she has some more ideas. She has been tired all day after church and has gone to bed early. I sure worry about her.

Oh, Derk and Davalee came over to hear Pats choir sing. Davalee wasn't even cranky today. LOL They Could tell you more about the choir. Anyway, Pay enjoyed seeing them.

It was my birthday today. Pat forgot. That's okay because the best present she could give me is to just be here with me.

Gotta run for now. See you tomorrow night with the report from Carol. RAZ

No no no!

Hey everyone this is Thereasa, Dads too lazy to write the blog tonight and since I spent all day with Mom today I guess I know how her day went. I would say that she had an okay day today. She was wanting to take it easy today so that she would be in good shape for our choir performance tomarrow, but we will have to see how she is in the morning. I made sure she ate her yummy (gross) stuff from Carol and took the right pills(after checking with Dad cuz I don't know and I know Mom doesn't know.LOL) Basically she just hung out and watched the CMT awards ( Dad says its the third time shes watched it in the last three days.) She was telling me about some country singer , I dont remember who, but we both agreed he's not that good looking but he can sure sing. She wants to have a talk with him about his stupid hat.LOL. Any ways I guess thats all there is to report. Right now Dads saying hes not sure if she'll make it to church and she's telling him not to tell her she can't go. I guess we will see in the morning who wins that discussion. For some reason Dad delights in asking Mom what day it is and having her tell him a different day each time. He's asked her that at least 3 times in the last 20 minutes. He's also threatning to take a picture of her in the bath to post with tonights post if she doesn't hurry up with her bath. She said No no no! Well Thats all for tonight. hope everything is well with everyone. Good Night!

Am I having an affair????

Which wife will I be with today. The stuff Carol has been giving Pat she takes 3 times a day. She started on Monday. I don't know if that is making a difference but, yesterday Pat got up by herself and got dressed. Then she started her day with a bowl of cereal while I packed the car back up. We left Thompson Falls and headed over the hill to Kellogg. Holy talkaroni. I could not shut her up. I even called Carol to see if I should cut her back on her stuff (for lack of a better word). The witch doctor said no. Oooppppss I have to quit calling her that because she now fallows Patsy blog.,

Anyway, it was good to have the old Patsy back. I play a game with her where I ask her what day it is. When she can come right back with the correct day, that is a good day.

So we talked and drove and ate some lunch. She even seemed to have improved her short term memory a bit. I need to tell you, this was one of the best day that we have had since way before she went into the hospital.

So we left Kellogg and went to Missoula. She decided that she wanted some string beans and some cling peaches. CRAPPOLA!!!! Why can't we just have a McDonalds hamburger or something.

So I went to the store and bought her some sting beans and peaches. And of course I had to buy something to open the cans. While she ate that, I drove us to Lolo Hot Springs. We went in and sat in the hot pool for awhile. It was great. We were going to stay there but I didn't feel like sleeping, so I put her to bed in the van and over the hill we went towards Kooskia.

I started to get tired and found a nice spot to pull over for the night. It was where the Selway and the Lochsa come together. It was fun listening to the river and the rain and Patsy snoring.

Pat decided she would have some pain last night so I gave her some pain meds and let her sleep while I came on in. I made her get up for some breakfast in New Meadows. We made it home and she went to bed for some much needed rest. I think the day she had yesterday wore her out.

So, all and all, we had a good trip. We did some work for the YMCA. We spent some good quality time together.

I keep looking for signs that Pat is getting worse or getting better. I guess if I was to make a judgement, it would be that she is not getting any worse. If Carol can get this pain down and if she gets some use of her legs back, I would be happy. Thanks for all your support. RAZ

Where the heck are we??? Are we there yet????

Hello from Thompson Falls Montana. According to Pat, we have been in Bedford (where ever that is), Superior, Libby, and a few other places I don't even remember. We have been in none of thoses. Of course, the day is Mon, Friday, Tuesday, depending on when you ask her. The rest of time she seamed to do pretty good as long as I was helping her walk and dress, etc.

The pain has been bad all day and when she has the Norco, she does pretty good. The charlie horse in her legs interest me some what.

Anyway, we got up in Bonners Ferry and I went in and showered while I let her sleep. She said she wanted some hot cereal so I went and had breakfast and got her some to go and down the road we went. the country side was beautiful here. We ended here in Thompson Falls and I decided she needed a room and a nice hot bath. We had dinner and then went down to the falls. Derk gave us a push chair which is like a wheel chair without the big wheels. I pushed Patsy across the river to the island and back. I believe she enjoyed that. Tomorrow we are going over Thompson Pass to Wallace. The we are heading to Missoula and then Lolo Hot Springs and the Kooskia and then home. We will spend the night on the Clearwater some where and enjoy a campfire. Maybe even a marshmallow. I won't be able to check in so I will see you on friday night.

I sure am glad I packed extra underwear for Patsy. That's all I am going to say about that!!!!

Ok, goodnight for now. RAZ

The Gypsy JournaL

Ok everyone, sorry I missed last night but it got late and I didn't have a signal anywhere. Last night Patsy and I stayed in Hayden Idaho. It was a blast but the day was really bad. I went into town early monday to get some medicine and while I was gone, Patsy got up and got dressed and did a few things and then went next door to Thereasa to come her hair I think. When I got home, she was being help to the bus and Thereasa said she wasn't doing very good. It looked to me like she had had another mini seizer. I loaded her in the car since we was headed to Carols anyway. All the way over to Emmett she was unable to speak and what she did say made no sense. Carol work on her for awhile and there was a time when I thought that Pat was actually out on her fee. Any way, after a while she started to come around and we decide to complete the journey.

Carol says it is time to start rebuilding and gave her some stuff that she is supposed to tatake for the next 12 days. I was happy to here that.

So we got to Hayden. The last hour or so got a little bit crazy with some of her wild stories, but I got her to bed and she slept really good.

Today she woke up and she was feeling great. She said she wanted a doughnut, WHAT!!! She never wants a doughnut but I got her one.

We are having a wonderful trip and even though she really got tired tonight, we had so much fun today. We laughed and talked.

We had a good dinner tonight and I put her to bed early and she is sleeping really good right now.

She is having some pain still though she hasn't had a pain pill tonight yet. She is having pains in her upper stomach and she is also having craps in her legs. That nay be good to see things starting to happen in her legs again. We will see.

Okay gotta go for now. Keep her in your prayers. RAZ

Ready or not, her we go!!!

While Pat was in the hospital and after the doctor told her the wonderful news that her time was limited, Pat looked at me with a tear in her eye and ask me to take her places and to not just let her lay around, but to keep living. I promised that I would do all that I could. Well, tomorrow we leave to work on keeping that commitment. I don't know how Pat is going to do. She had a really bad day today. I really worry about her. The pain was bad and she had a stomach ache that was new to her.

When I look into her eyes, I see the pain and the depression. I think it will be good to get away for a few days.

So, here is the plan. The YMCA wants me to go do a pre-ride to the Ride Idaho event later this year. They are paying my fuel so that will really help. So this is a chance for us to go on a trip and have it paid for.

My son Scott has lent us his caravan to take. That will be better then the little escort because the van has more room. I have made a bed in the back of the van so that she can rest or sleep when ever she wants to. I also have the chairs so that we can stop and have lunch along the river or lake.

I will take the computer so that I can keep you updated along the way.It might get interesting. She won't have a shower that she can stop at in the middle of the night. Our first stop will be somewhere around lewiston tomorrow night.

Patsy cannot write emails because it takes her to long, but she wants me to thank everyone so much for being there for her. There is someone from Mississippi that follows the blog and she doesn't know who it is and it is driving her crazy. It might be nice to just leave her a quick comment. She really enjoys me reading them to her. Okay, I need to go finish packing. There is first time for everything and this is another first. I hope when she gets her clothes out of her suitcase that I picked the right stuff. Do you know that people actually match colors and coordinate pants and shirts??? I packed a bunch of clothes and then I undid it and started again.

Well, it will be fun and I will keep you all posted!!! Raz

"SHUT THE HECK UP"

Thanks for joining us tonight. Hey, Patsy told me to "SHUT THE HECK UP" only she didn't say heck!!! That made me so happy. So she went to bed early last night because the depression had a hold on her. She needed some help to the bathroom at about 4:00 am and then back to bed. Only problem with that was her depression just turned itself off. Holy Moly!!!! She felt like talking so talking we did. Over and over and over for about 2 1/2 hours. Then she was tired and went back to sleep. Oh, but now it is about 7:00. Time for me to get up!!!

So back to the chewing out. I was teasing her about something and she let me have it. It was wonderful. She has asked me 4 times today what day it is and Bob was here and she kept asking what week the choir sings and I had to tell her that several times. In case you want to come, the choir sings on the 13th of June at 10:30. I plan on sitting behind her and hold her up as usual.

Someday I will tell you about Bob and how special a person he is. We call each other brothers and I think of him as such. He has impacted our lives more then once and the only reason I can come up with is that he is such a trouble maker that he really needs the blessing to keep piling up. Well, I bet they are. He and his wife are really super people.

Hey, Dad and Mom stopped by and brought some lunch. Pat was still up and Kathy said Pat looks really good. It was good to see them. I think Pat told me to "SHUT THE HECK UP" one of the times when they were here. Oh yes, it happened more then once.

So as you can tell, Pat had a much better day today. She got tired and went back to bed while Dad was here but we talked about her and she kept coming back with her remarks. It was good.

Marty and Thereasa cooked us dinner tonight and that was great. Patsy is still up and we are going to enjoy each other for the evening before I fall asleep. Remember the 4:00 am thing.

Ok, that is enough rambling. people tell me they enjoy the blog. I hope Patsy's condition remains positive so we can continue to have fun. RAZ

P.S. I tried to get rid of one of the bottles of vanilla to Kathy with no success.

I sure failed today.

Now what do I do. I am dealing with the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry (with help from Thereasa), the bill paying, the medical bills, and all that is involved with getting us though this mess. But the one things I have not figured out yet is how to deal with her depression. Pat has been in bed all day and really doesn't want to get up. She doesn't seem to be in much pain, she just feels bad.

I told you that I would share the good and the bad. Well, today has been listed in the bad column.

I hate days like this because things are not something I know how to deal with. She has gone to bed for the night and I hope for a better day tomorrow.

Not much else to report. Let's get together tomorrow night and I hope I will have better news.

RAZ

The Blessings just keep on coming!!

What a day. But before I tell you about today, let me share a little story that will get me in trouble if Patsy ever gets on her blog. Usually I read to pat what I write and the comments but I leave out the parts that might get me in trouble

So early this morning, I got Pat up so she could go to the bathroom. She stop as we were walking by the shower and I asked what she was doing. She said she was going to do her business and pointed at the shower. I looked at her funny not sure what she was doing but then she started to drop her draws. Holy Cow!!! I got her stopped and we got to the toilet in time. Must be the drugs????

Anyway, some more pain pills and back to bed for a little more sleep.

We got up about 9:00 and read a comment on the blog from someone that means a lot to Patsy and me. It was good to here from Margo and it really made our day. Patsy had a 11:00 appointment at the church to work with someone on the organ. We got there a little early and I asked Pat to play a little bit for me. I wished I could properly express how much it hurts both of us that Patsy has lost her keyboard abilities. For those who have heard her play, you understand.

So, we headed for Emmett and another visit with Carol. We were there yesterday and we left her with some papers off the internet about CJD. When we got there today, we wanted to try to nail down what Carol thought. So here it is as I understand it.

Carol says that Patsy definitely had CJD. But, unlike the Doctor, she says that she has killed the parasites that caused the problem and that it was not going to take her life. The Doctors say that it is not curable but Carol disagrees. She admits that there is damage and that the road back is going to be a long one, but she is confident that she can and will recover some if not all of what she has lost. We remain hopeful!!

So, last night when I wrote, the money was getting a little low and I started to wonder if we could hold on until we start getting some money from SSI. My wonderful sis offered some until then but when we checked online today, some one or more then one put some money in the account that was set up by the ham radio community. I have no knowledge who made that donation but if you know, please let them know how much we appreciate their support. Also, some money came in the mail today and those people know who you are and how much we love you and how much you mean to us.

Back to Patsy. She is having a pretty good day and is here watching tv with me. I am so happy just to watch tv together. Let me tell you what I have learned this last few months. Don't ever let a day go by with out telling you significant other that you love them. I will never let one go by again.

Goodnight all, RAZ

You are supposed to eat the soup, not wear it!!!!!!

Chicken soup in the lap???? Trouble figuring out the remote!!! I get it. I am suppose to learn patience. I am working on it. Patsy did see Carol today and Carol wants her back tomorrow. I wished the SSI would hurry. Gas money is at the bottom of the barrel. The car has a bad axle and a broken motor mount. My old boss says I can use the shop to change them out. If I can find enough money, I hope to do that Friday.

Ok, so Pats pain seems to be a little better. She has only had 1 norco pill in two days and she has been sleeping really good. I have to make a trip up north for the Ride Idaho group and work on the route. They are paying my fuel expenses and I hope Pat will go with me. This is the kind of trip that she would not be left behind in years past. We'll see what happens. I am going to take the back seat out and make her a bed so that she can sleep anytime she gets wore out. I will sleep in the seat and we should be able to take 3 or 4 days and spend some good time together. I am looking forward to the trip. Goodnight all, RAZ

Get up and Fight!!!!!!

Get up and fight!!!! That was her wake up call. She was depressed after the crapy day she had yesterday and she just didn't want to get up. I guess i don't blame her but I need to keep her going. So I went to the store and got her some cantaloupe. I got back and told her she was going to get up or I was going to get really mad. That made her laugh and she did get up. I helped her take a bath and that made her feel pretty good. We did some paper work and I had to get ready for two meetings tonight in Boise. She was feeling pretty good so I let the kids know I was leaving and asked if they would check on her.

So when I got home I asked her to go get me a soda. She did!!!! Now I know that doesn't mean much to you faithful followers, but that was really something to me. Tomorrow we go see Carol. That will be an interesting day. We have asked her for the truth as she knows it. Could be an interesting day. Good night all, please keep Patsy in your prayers. RAZ