Ready or not, her we go!!!

While Pat was in the hospital and after the doctor told her the wonderful news that her time was limited, Pat looked at me with a tear in her eye and ask me to take her places and to not just let her lay around, but to keep living. I promised that I would do all that I could. Well, tomorrow we leave to work on keeping that commitment. I don't know how Pat is going to do. She had a really bad day today. I really worry about her. The pain was bad and she had a stomach ache that was new to her.

When I look into her eyes, I see the pain and the depression. I think it will be good to get away for a few days.

So, here is the plan. The YMCA wants me to go do a pre-ride to the Ride Idaho event later this year. They are paying my fuel so that will really help. So this is a chance for us to go on a trip and have it paid for.

My son Scott has lent us his caravan to take. That will be better then the little escort because the van has more room. I have made a bed in the back of the van so that she can rest or sleep when ever she wants to. I also have the chairs so that we can stop and have lunch along the river or lake.

I will take the computer so that I can keep you updated along the way.It might get interesting. She won't have a shower that she can stop at in the middle of the night. Our first stop will be somewhere around lewiston tomorrow night.

Patsy cannot write emails because it takes her to long, but she wants me to thank everyone so much for being there for her. There is someone from Mississippi that follows the blog and she doesn't know who it is and it is driving her crazy. It might be nice to just leave her a quick comment. She really enjoys me reading them to her. Okay, I need to go finish packing. There is first time for everything and this is another first. I hope when she gets her clothes out of her suitcase that I picked the right stuff. Do you know that people actually match colors and coordinate pants and shirts??? I packed a bunch of clothes and then I undid it and started again.

Well, it will be fun and I will keep you all posted!!! Raz

"SHUT THE HECK UP"

Thanks for joining us tonight. Hey, Patsy told me to "SHUT THE HECK UP" only she didn't say heck!!! That made me so happy. So she went to bed early last night because the depression had a hold on her. She needed some help to the bathroom at about 4:00 am and then back to bed. Only problem with that was her depression just turned itself off. Holy Moly!!!! She felt like talking so talking we did. Over and over and over for about 2 1/2 hours. Then she was tired and went back to sleep. Oh, but now it is about 7:00. Time for me to get up!!!

So back to the chewing out. I was teasing her about something and she let me have it. It was wonderful. She has asked me 4 times today what day it is and Bob was here and she kept asking what week the choir sings and I had to tell her that several times. In case you want to come, the choir sings on the 13th of June at 10:30. I plan on sitting behind her and hold her up as usual.

Someday I will tell you about Bob and how special a person he is. We call each other brothers and I think of him as such. He has impacted our lives more then once and the only reason I can come up with is that he is such a trouble maker that he really needs the blessing to keep piling up. Well, I bet they are. He and his wife are really super people.

Hey, Dad and Mom stopped by and brought some lunch. Pat was still up and Kathy said Pat looks really good. It was good to see them. I think Pat told me to "SHUT THE HECK UP" one of the times when they were here. Oh yes, it happened more then once.

So as you can tell, Pat had a much better day today. She got tired and went back to bed while Dad was here but we talked about her and she kept coming back with her remarks. It was good.

Marty and Thereasa cooked us dinner tonight and that was great. Patsy is still up and we are going to enjoy each other for the evening before I fall asleep. Remember the 4:00 am thing.

Ok, that is enough rambling. people tell me they enjoy the blog. I hope Patsy's condition remains positive so we can continue to have fun. RAZ

P.S. I tried to get rid of one of the bottles of vanilla to Kathy with no success.

I sure failed today.

Now what do I do. I am dealing with the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry (with help from Thereasa), the bill paying, the medical bills, and all that is involved with getting us though this mess. But the one things I have not figured out yet is how to deal with her depression. Pat has been in bed all day and really doesn't want to get up. She doesn't seem to be in much pain, she just feels bad.

I told you that I would share the good and the bad. Well, today has been listed in the bad column.

I hate days like this because things are not something I know how to deal with. She has gone to bed for the night and I hope for a better day tomorrow.

Not much else to report. Let's get together tomorrow night and I hope I will have better news.

RAZ

The Blessings just keep on coming!!

What a day. But before I tell you about today, let me share a little story that will get me in trouble if Patsy ever gets on her blog. Usually I read to pat what I write and the comments but I leave out the parts that might get me in trouble

So early this morning, I got Pat up so she could go to the bathroom. She stop as we were walking by the shower and I asked what she was doing. She said she was going to do her business and pointed at the shower. I looked at her funny not sure what she was doing but then she started to drop her draws. Holy Cow!!! I got her stopped and we got to the toilet in time. Must be the drugs????

Anyway, some more pain pills and back to bed for a little more sleep.

We got up about 9:00 and read a comment on the blog from someone that means a lot to Patsy and me. It was good to here from Margo and it really made our day. Patsy had a 11:00 appointment at the church to work with someone on the organ. We got there a little early and I asked Pat to play a little bit for me. I wished I could properly express how much it hurts both of us that Patsy has lost her keyboard abilities. For those who have heard her play, you understand.

So, we headed for Emmett and another visit with Carol. We were there yesterday and we left her with some papers off the internet about CJD. When we got there today, we wanted to try to nail down what Carol thought. So here it is as I understand it.

Carol says that Patsy definitely had CJD. But, unlike the Doctor, she says that she has killed the parasites that caused the problem and that it was not going to take her life. The Doctors say that it is not curable but Carol disagrees. She admits that there is damage and that the road back is going to be a long one, but she is confident that she can and will recover some if not all of what she has lost. We remain hopeful!!

So, last night when I wrote, the money was getting a little low and I started to wonder if we could hold on until we start getting some money from SSI. My wonderful sis offered some until then but when we checked online today, some one or more then one put some money in the account that was set up by the ham radio community. I have no knowledge who made that donation but if you know, please let them know how much we appreciate their support. Also, some money came in the mail today and those people know who you are and how much we love you and how much you mean to us.

Back to Patsy. She is having a pretty good day and is here watching tv with me. I am so happy just to watch tv together. Let me tell you what I have learned this last few months. Don't ever let a day go by with out telling you significant other that you love them. I will never let one go by again.

Goodnight all, RAZ

You are supposed to eat the soup, not wear it!!!!!!

Chicken soup in the lap???? Trouble figuring out the remote!!! I get it. I am suppose to learn patience. I am working on it. Patsy did see Carol today and Carol wants her back tomorrow. I wished the SSI would hurry. Gas money is at the bottom of the barrel. The car has a bad axle and a broken motor mount. My old boss says I can use the shop to change them out. If I can find enough money, I hope to do that Friday.

Ok, so Pats pain seems to be a little better. She has only had 1 norco pill in two days and she has been sleeping really good. I have to make a trip up north for the Ride Idaho group and work on the route. They are paying my fuel expenses and I hope Pat will go with me. This is the kind of trip that she would not be left behind in years past. We'll see what happens. I am going to take the back seat out and make her a bed so that she can sleep anytime she gets wore out. I will sleep in the seat and we should be able to take 3 or 4 days and spend some good time together. I am looking forward to the trip. Goodnight all, RAZ

Get up and Fight!!!!!!

Get up and fight!!!! That was her wake up call. She was depressed after the crapy day she had yesterday and she just didn't want to get up. I guess i don't blame her but I need to keep her going. So I went to the store and got her some cantaloupe. I got back and told her she was going to get up or I was going to get really mad. That made her laugh and she did get up. I helped her take a bath and that made her feel pretty good. We did some paper work and I had to get ready for two meetings tonight in Boise. She was feeling pretty good so I let the kids know I was leaving and asked if they would check on her.

So when I got home I asked her to go get me a soda. She did!!!! Now I know that doesn't mean much to you faithful followers, but that was really something to me. Tomorrow we go see Carol. That will be an interesting day. We have asked her for the truth as she knows it. Could be an interesting day. Good night all, please keep Patsy in your prayers. RAZ