I have learned so much this last year and I want to thank Patsy for the opportunity to serve her and to practice what true love is all about. If I had it to do over again, I would not change a single day. I believe she now knows how much I really love her and I can't wait to be with her again someday. I pray that she will take care of me and lead me to do the right things.
I have come under criticism the last few days for the decisions Patsy and I made as to how to handle her death. This whole ordeal was about doing what patsy wanted.
She did not want to be in a nursing home, I kept that promise.
She did not want to be on a feeding tube or a machine, I kept that promise.
She did not want to see her family go into debt paying for funeral expenses, a casket, a plot, flowers, etc. I will keep that promise.
She wanted to have all of us celebrate her life and remember her for who she really was and not have a funeral where everyone was sad and people were giving talks about her when they really didn't know her, I will keep that promise. Remember, as an organist, Patsy played for many a funeral and I think she knew why and what she wanted.
So, on Sept 3rd, we will get together and celebrate a very special gal and as of right now, you are all invited. There are some conditions____
1. You can not where a suit or dress.
2. You have to have the sadness behind you and be ready to smile and have fun
3.You will need to bring an appetite and a pot luck dish
4. most of all, you will have to agree with the decision that Patsy made to have us celebrate her life and not her death. If you have bad feelings about the decision that we have made to have her cremated and not have a standard funeral, then don't come and let the rest of us have a good time.
One thing we are going to do for you for coming. Patsy gave a organ recital in Caldwell and I have found the cassette tape of that. We are going to buy the equipment to transfer that music onto a CD and make it available to all that come and want one so an RSVP woulld be nice. There may be a small fee for that disk (2.00 or so) That was a very special night for her and also for all that came to hear her. I believe it will be special. This gathering will be one of great joy and fun memories.
Now for me. after almost 2 years of constant care, I have a big hole that is going to be tough to fill. Not to mention the love that I am going to miss. i hope and pray that I can get through this and I know with your help and that of my kids, I will find away to go forward.
One final note...My three girls were able and chose to be with Patsy till she took her last breath. I watched as they gathered the strength to watch her as Patsys poor body laying there dying. They knew where they needed to be and I gained more strength because of there love and loyalty.
They have been a big help to me and I will never forget them. I hope and pray that together we can get past this and I am sure that we will.
That is all for now. Maybe a few more post as I close this journey. I hope you don't find me to boring. Thanks for riding along, RAZ
Lynn, my heart goes out to you. You must be so lost with out Pat. She was a remarkable person and You, like I said in a previous post, you are an amazing person. You should be proud of yourself for taking care of your wife/partner to the end. I commend you. Your life will fall into place after a little while. I have not lost a spouse but have lost a child to suicide and it was tough, but I am here to say.......that someday your life will be whole again. God Bless You Lynn and your family.....
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